


How to Solve a Problem with Imaginary Numbers

by Liketheriver



Series: How to... Series [4]
Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Episode Related, Established Relationship, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-26
Updated: 2019-01-26
Packaged: 2019-10-17 06:42:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 35,703
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17555333
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Liketheriver/pseuds/Liketheriver
Summary: After an exposure to drugs, Danny starts experiencing hallucinations, leaving Steve to be the one desperately trying to hold things together.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I've just thrown in the towel and have to admit that it is impossible for me to write short fic involving these two. Any other fandom I can write a simple 10,000 word fic, but for some reason these always turn out three times longer than planned.
> 
> This falls in my How To Universe, so reading the others will help but isn't absolutely necessary.
> 
> No beta, so all mistakes are my own.
> 
> The fic is complete, but divided into chapters for ease of reading.
> 
> Also, recommend you *do not* read the other reader comments before reading this fic. There are lots of spoilers there you don't want before reading. Trust me in this.

When Steve heard the desperate radio call from Tani for medical backup, he imagined a lot of different things—Danny shot, Danny stabbed, Danny… hell, Danny somehow badly hurt by a bunch of drug runners they were in the middle of taking down.  What he hadn’t expected when he ran from the docks to skid to a stop on the floor of the factory the perps were using to cut and package their goods was to see Tani stripped down to her underwear trying to do the same with Danny. 

Steve was so shocked he didn’t even notice that Junior nearly ran into him from behind.  “What the hell?”

“Steve, thank God,” Tani exclaimed in relief, never stopping her attempt to get at Danny’s shirt.  “You need to get him out of his clothes.”

Danny, for his part, was trying his best to avoid Tani. Not exactly fighting her off, so much as trying not to touch or be touched in return.  “You’re too close. Too close. Just… back off.”

“Danny, you have to take them off,” Tani argued, getting a hand on Danny’s vest that was already hanging partially unfastened, just to have him twist away.  

Danny stepped back and jammed an angry finger at their younger teammate. “I said back the fuck off!”

“The drugs… you have to get out of those clothes,” Tani insisted yet again.

It was then Steve noticed the dusting of white powder covering Danny’s clothes, his hair, every inch of exposed skin.   

Shit. Given the way this crap was killing people on the streets, a massive accidental exposure like this could be fatal.

Steve moved in quickly, even as he asked, “Tani, did it get on you, too?”  

Seeing as she’d already stripped off her clothes, the answer was obviously yes, but she didn’t seem to have the same coating that Danny did.

“Some,” she told him.  “But Danny took the brunt.  He pushed me out of the way when the shooting started. The gunman hit the boxed goods, and they practically exploded right in Danny’s face.”

Steve was already pulling his latex gloves from his pocket, his eyes locked on his partner who was pacing a small space mumbling about not being touched.  “Junior, take Tani, find somewhere to wash her off.  We’ll need it for Danny, too.”

Hearing his name, Danny raised his hands defensively.  “Can’t…can’t touch me.  I’m contaminated.”  Danny took a step back when Steve took one toward him.  “You can’t touch me, you moron, you’ll contaminate yourself!”

“That’s why I’ve got the gloves,” Steve appeased, showing them to Danny as he pulled them on.  “See? I’m not going to get anything on me, but we need to get it off of you.  Okay?”

“Con…contaminated,” Danny reiterated with a shake of his head as the vest he’d obviously forgotten he had unfastened dropped unnoticed off his shoulder and onto the floor.  His eyes were already glassy and a little wild from the exposure.

“I know, Danno,” Steve said calmly, more calmly than he felt.  

But that was his thing, right?  Bust in, handle whatever crap was thrown his way so that he and Danny and the rest of the team went home every night, went home in one goddamn piece.  So far, he’d been successful.  Although, now and again, more times than Steve liked to think about, Danny went home a little worse for wear.  Seeing Danny like this, shot or exposed to something that could kill him, always made Steve feel that steady confidence that he could fix anything slip away like Danny’s discarded vest just had.  So, Steve did what he always did in times like this—pushed down the threatening doubt and panic and tackled the problem head on, one step at a time.  The first step now was minimizing any additional exposure to the drug. 

“We need to get those clothes off of you though, so you don’t contaminate the paramedics when they get here.”  He reached a tentative hand toward Danny’s shirt, breathed a sigh of relief when Danny didn’t pull away.

“You can’t…Steve…” Danny rubbed at his forehead in a gesture of worry Steve knew all too well.  “You’ll get it on you.  Expose your...yourself.”

“That’s why I’m wearing the gloves,” Steve reassured.  “I’m going to be fine, Danny.  So are you.”  Although he was worried as fuck about the way Danny’s breathing was becoming more and more rapid by the second.

“It went goddamn everywhere,” Danny told him with a wave of his arms.

“I know, buddy.” Steve started working on the buttons of Danny’s shirt.  “Looks kind of like the last time Charlie helped you with the pasta machine.”

Danny started laughing.  “Christ, there was flour in the kitchen light fixtures after that one. No clue how that could even happen.”

Steve laughed with him, paused on the shirt long enough to order, “Close your eyes,” then swiped quickly over Danny’s face with his gloved hand in an attempt to remove some of the powder clinging to his eyelashes.  

Danny blinked his eyes quickly, the sky blue of them always made Steve’s breath catch, but the way Danny’s pupils were little more than pin pricks even in the dim light of the factory made it stutter in his chest for another reason.

“The lights?” Steve scoffed to cover his worry.  “I couldn’t believe where I found it on you.”

“Sure was fun when you did.”  Danny’s smile went soft, a little melancholy around the edges, like he wouldn’t get another chance at that kind of fun with Steve because he knew how damn serious this really was.

Steve felt the hold on his own fear weaken at the site of it, and he returned his concentration to the buttons that blurred slightly in his vision.  “Wait ‘til you see the whole body search I got planned for when we get home tonight.”

Junior yelled from the far end of the floor.  “Steve, I found a locker room with showers!  Tani’s in one now!”

“On our way!” Steve answered back, even as he took hold of Danny’s arm and started dragging him toward Junior’s voice, “Hear that? We’re going to get you in the shower and get this shit off of you.”

“Only you’d want to fool around now,” Danny told him with a slightly manic giggle, the one he used when it looked like there was no way out of the mess they’d found themselves in, the one he’d used while buried under a parking garage and impaled by a piece of rebar.

Steve forced a grin to replace the worried scowl he wore at the feel of Danny’s muscles twitching sporadically under his fingers.  “You kidding?  I’m always up for fooling around with you.”  It was hard to hold the smile in place when he saw Danny rubbing at his chest. “Danny?”

“It’s hot in here.”  Danny shook his head.  “Hot and…Christ… everything is too close, crowded…feel like I’m crawling out of my skin….”

Steve broke into a jog at the news, dragging Danny along, not that he needed Danny to confirm what he could already tell; Steve could feel the fevered heat of Danny’s skin through his partner’s shirt and the latex gloves.  Agitation, spikes in body temperature, overtaxing of the heart and respiratory system were all signs of cocaine overdose.  Then there was the unknown factory, the synthetic shit that the coke had been laced with that was killing users at a much higher rate than pure cocaine would have, and was doing God only knew what to Danny right fucking now.  He couldn’t think about that, couldn’t think about the eight deaths in three weeks because of this crap coating Danny, right now he needed to focus on treating the immediate symptoms.

“Junior, turn the water to cold.  Cold as it will go,” Steve ordered as soon as he stepped into the locker room with Danny in tow.  “How’s Tani doing?”

Tani answered from the first shower stall.  “Good, good, I’m good.  I’m all good,” she assured, although Steve didn’t miss the sharp edge to her tone. 

“You watch her,” Steve told Junior in a low voice when the young man stepped out of the shower stall he’d just started for Danny.  “Breathing, heart rate, elevated temperature.”

Junior nodded in understanding, his brow creased in worry.

“Steve, ambulance just arrived,” Lou said through his earpiece as soon as Steve shoved Danny under the stream of cold water.

“Make it two, Lou,” Steve ordered before pulling the earpiece and dropping it along with his vest on the floor to join Danny in the shower.  He turned Danny to face into the spray of water and peeled the now soaked shirt off Danny’s back.  Then he stripped his own t-shirt off to use to scrub over Danny’s exposed skin. 

Danny grinned when Steve turned him around once more and he saw Steve shirtless.  “You know the kids are right next door, babe.”

“Sorry, Danno, not that kind of shower.”  He used his improvised washcloth to clean away any lingering residue on Danny’s face and chest, then he started working to unfasten Danny’s belt.

“Knew you couldn’t keep your hands to yourself,” Danny teased as Steve worked the slacks past his hips to pool in a sodden heap around Danny’s ankles.

Steve moved to scrub his fingers through Danny’s hair.  “Can you blame me?”

Danny, however, was staring at Steve’s shoulder.  “I never knew they could do that.”

“What?” Steve asked in confusion, following Danny’s line of sight to the tattoo on his arm.

“Move like that,” Danny told him with an amused snicker.

Steve barely had time to process the fact that Danny was hallucinating.  The grin faded from Danny’s face as Steve felt the first tremors pass through his partner’s body.  At first, Steve thought it was because of the cold water, nothing more than a bad case of the shivers, but he knew that was just wishful thinking. 

Then Danny did something he hadn’t done since Steve had entered the factory, he intentionally reached out to touch Steve.  Danny’s trembling hand pressed against Steve’s chest, right over his heart.  “Steve…”  Those gorgeous blue eyes met Steve’s for a second before they rolled back in Danny’s head, and the seizure started for real.

“Danny?  Danny!”  Steve caught him, pulled him in close to keep him from slamming his head against the tile of the shower, felt Danny’s body quake until Steve thought it was going to shake apart into a thousand pieces…

…and Steve felt like his goddamn  _life_  was doing the same.

~H50~H50~H50~H50~H50~

Steve wasn’t one for fantasy, but right now, he felt like he deserved a few minutes of exactly that.  Five minutes of simply holding Danny and pretending they were at home in bed and not in the hospital, that Danny was simply sleeping on his chest and not sedated out of his mind for the protection of himself and others, that Steve hadn’t had to hold him down so the nurse and doctor could do just that.  So, Steve closed his eyes, tried to imagine the smell of salt water on the breeze through the windows in their bedroom instead of bleach, and concentrated on the feel of Danny’s hair through his fingers.  

Steve loved the new cut, loved the contrast between the sharp, short buzz on the side that brought back the thrill of sneaking off to fool around with guys at ANA, and the silky longer locks on top that Steve had repeatedly curled around his fingers almost every time Danny had curled around him.

Odell had offered the cut for free as soon as Danny walked in with Steve for his regular trim.  “I’ve been waiting way too long to get my clippers on that head of hair, and I’m afraid this bozo will take matters into his own hands one day, kind of like he did with himself.  There’s only so much self-mutilation a guy can bear witness to in a lifetime.”

“You and me both,” Danny had agreed, which had Steve rolling his eyes at both of them.  Then Danny had shrugged and said, “What the hell?” as he took a seat.

When Odell had finished, Danny had scrunched his nose as he studied his reflection before seeking out Steve’s eyes in the mirror.  “Whaddaya think?”

Steve had licked his lips, cleared his throat, and slipped Odell a twenty, his eyes never leaving Danny’s.  “I think we’re skipping out on the rest of the day at work.”

Odell had looked at the money in his hand, “No, no, I said it was on the house.”

“It’s a tip,” Steve told him, already pulling Danny from the chair.  “Trust me, you earned it.”

Steve had Danny a few steps from the door when Odell called, “Wait a minute.  What about your cut?”

“I’ll come back later in the week,” Steve called over his shoulder.

“Fine, but I’m in court all day Thursday,” Odell warned. 

Danny stopped at that.  “Oh, yeah?  Us, too. What case?”

“Teddy Mahoe,” Odell informed them.

“Seriously?” Danny asked with a shake of his head.  “HPD has him dead to rights— “

“The evidence is all circumstantial--” Odell argued.

Danny’s arm Steve didn’t have a hold on went flying.  “They have him on the security camera carrying the ATM machine!  I mean, impressive upper body strength aside, it’s still illegal.”

Odell shook his head.  “But no one actually  _saw_  him steal it.”

“Danny.” Steve sighed impatiently.  “It’s not even our case.”

“But we saw the video on the news,” Danny pointed out.

“Doesn’t matter,” Steve reasoned, even as he tugged on Danny’s arm.  “Let’s go.”  

Of course, Danny had to have the last word.  “ _Everybody_  saw it on the news.”  

“Last I checked, the court of public opinion had no legal standing,” Odell noted with a cross of his arms.

Before Steve could drag Danny out of the barbershop, his phone rang.  Glancing at the number, he saw it was the governor’s office.  “Great, we’ve probably caught a case, and because of you, we won’t have time— “

“Me?” Danny demanded in shock.  “What? If I hadn’t had a thirty-second conversation you think we would have had time to take care of business?”  

“Maybe not completely, but close,” Steve argued before answering the call with a testy, “McGarrett.”

Danny, however, didn’t seem to care that Steve was on the phone.  “I’m honestly not sure if I should be flattered or insulted by the insinuation that I could get…” Remembering they weren’t alone, Danny paused and glanced over his shoulder at the barber.  

Odell smirked.  “For an extra twenty I can give you the back room for a few minutes. That is, if you don’t mind having sex next to a mop and bucket, which I expect you to use afterward.  Come to think of it, I’ll need a cleaning deposit, as well.”

Steve was half listening to the Governor’s aide on the other end of the line, but he caught the basics… dead body, eighteenth hole of the Ko Olina golf course, charity function with high level muckity mucks tonight…while he watched Danny blush deep red.

“Sex?”  Danny scoffed, then flat out lied.  “That’s not what we were talking about.” 

With a snort, Odell insisted, “Of course it is.”

“But no one ever said the word sex,” Danny reasoned.  “I know I didn’t say it.   I don’t remember Steve saying it.  Do you remember saying the word sex?” 

Steve shook his head, more to dismiss Danny so he could hear the aide on the phone than to answer the question directed at him.

Danny, however, took it as the confirmation he was seeking and waved a hand as if he’d just delivered up damning testimony in court.

Odell rolled his eyes.  “Listen, I may not be a detective like you, but I can still put two and two together and come up with foreplay.”

“So circumstantial evidence?”  Danny bobbled his head.  “Kind of like seeing a guy carrying an ATM down the street and deciding maybe he’s the one who stole it?”

“Ah, okay," Odell conceded, “I see what you did there.”

Danny simply grinned smugly, which just made Steve want him even more than he already did.

Right now, all Steve wanted was for Danny to wake up, be normal again, and for this nightmare to be over.

“Steve?”

Steve opened his eyes at the sound of Lou’s voice, but didn’t stop the slow play of his fingers across Danny’s scalp.  Danny, as expected, didn’t so much as twitch in his drug-induced sleep.

“Hey, Lou.”  It was all Steve could manage.  Christ, he was exhausted.  

Lou’s frown of worry just grew as he took in the bandages on Danny’s forearms.  “What happened?  I thought you two were going home today.”

“So did I,” Steve admitted.  “Then my tattoos dripped off my arms and started burrowing into his.  Next thing I know, he’s trying to slice them out with a pair of surgical scissors he took off the nurse.”

“What the ever-living hell?” Lou exclaimed in shock.  

Steve’s reaction had been along those same lines when Danny’s expression had become dazed in the same way it had in the factory days earlier.  Then his eyes had filled with terror as he clawed at this arms, demanding Steve help him get them out.  At first, Steve had tried to calmly reason with Danny, which didn’t help one damn bit.  When Danny moved on to more drastic measures, and his blood was dripping on the linoleum floor of the hospital room, Steve’s response had become more drastic, as well.  

“I practically had to choke him out, Lou,” Steve admitted.  

His heart was racing again at the memory of Danny fighting him even as Steve promised soothingly at this ear, “I’ve got you, Danno, I’ve got you,” applying a little more pressure as he pulled Danny’s back tighter against his chest.  Danny, however, continued to flail and beat at Steve’s hold around his neck, but at least he’d dropped the scissors and was no longer trying to remove imaginary tattoos.  Still, by the time the doctor could deliver the sedative, Steve’s arms were covered with nearly as much of Danny’s blood as his own.  

“How he didn’t slice an artery…”  Steve shuddered again at the thought.

“But he didn’t,” Lou stressed, then took a deep breath to ask, “So what’s the plan now?”

Steve snorted weakly.  “Who the fuck knows?  They said the drugs were out of his system, so either they were wrong or this shit did some more… long-term damage to his brain.”  The word ‘permanent’ was rolling around in his own brain, but he refused to believe that was the case.  Permanent was so…final, hopeless, helpless, and Steve had never let those sorts of odds break him in the past.  But this was Danny, and even Steve could admit, if anything could scare the shit out of him, it was the thought that Steve might lose the man in his arms.

“Listen to me, Steve, we’re going to figure this out,” Lou assured.  “This drug is new; nobody knows exactly how it works or what it’s doing to the user’s brain.  It could just take longer for the effects to fade.”

Steve pushed down the thought that it could also cause more serious problems than anything else they’d seen in the past.  Instead, he changed the subject.  “You should double check on Tani, make sure she’s not having any problems we weren’t aware of before.”

They’d kept Tani overnight for observations, but then released her with an all clear.  She’d had signs of mild cocaine exposure, but nothing more. Nothing like the rollercoaster ride with Danny that first day when the doctors had spent hours simply trying to stabilize him with ice packs and sedatives to lower his body temperature and blood pressure, followed by more hours of tests to determine what, if any, damage had been done to his heart or kidneys.  Steve had spent part of the time sitting with his teammates, most of his time pacing anxiously, and the rest of the time threatening various medical staff to let him know what the hell was going on. 

Even when Noelani personally tracked down the attending physician to ask some questions, all she could tell Steve were the small snippets she’d learned…his temperature was out of the danger zone, but his blood pressure was still too high, his heart rate was stabilizing but they were concerned about kidney functions.  Steve would listen, ask questions, nod in understanding, not of what they were actually doing to Danny, but that they were doing the best they could.  However, every time Steve asked when he could see him, he was told the same thing, ‘Soon’.

“You don’t worry about Tani,” Lou told him.  “You’ve got enough on your plate.  Besides, I’ve seen her and she’s fine.”

“Commander?”

Steve looked past Lou to see Dr. Cho and another doctor Steve had never seen before standing in the doorway.

Lou, catching on that the doctor probably wanted to discuss Danny’s treatment options excused himself.  “I’ll see the two of you later.”  Lou turned and placed a hand on the attending physician’s shoulder as he left.  “You take good care of my boys there, both of them.”

Dr. Cho flashed her best doctorly smile.  “That’s the plan, Captain.”

Steve felt a tiny smidge of guilt that he didn’t return the smile when the doctor turned it on him. “So what exactly is the plan, doc?”

“Commander McGarrett, this is Dr. Dockery, he’s a fellow with our psychiatric ward.”

Steve’s arms instinctively tightened protectively around Danny.  “Now wait a minute...”

The young psychiatrist shook his head with a laugh.  “Oh, no, there’s no men in white suites waiting in the hallway.”  When Steve didn’t laugh along, only glared harder, the doctor shifted nervously and mumbled, “Mental note, don’t joke with the emotionally vulnerable Navy SEAL.”

“That a good idea for keeping yourself in one piece,” Steve pointed out.  “The best idea would be to help Detective Williams.”

Dr. Cho evidently decided she should step in.  “Dr. Dockery did his residency in New Hampshire, in an area with one of the highest rates of cocaine usage in the country.  He has a great deal of experience with drug induced psychosis.”

Steve took in the doctor and decided, at his age, he couldn’t have a lot of experience with anything.  Cho, however, seemed to trust him...or she was simply grasping at straws because no one knew what the hell to do to make Danny better.

“Okay,” Steve relented, “let’s hear it.  What’s all your experience tell you about what’s going on here?”

Dockery straightened, apparently intent on proving himself to Steve.  “Prolonged or extreme exposure to cocaine can cause psychosis that manifest for weeks or even months beyond the time the body detoxes.”

“So, Danny could be hallucinating for months?” Steve didn’t think it was possible for his worry to grow any more than it already had.

Dockery didn’t answer, not directly.  “The cocaine, combined with the synthetic drugs, we honestly don’t know how long the impacts will last.  We’ll need to run some more tests over time, see if there are any long-term changes taking place in his brain.  See if the antipsychotic medications help.”

“Wait a minute,” Steve interrupted then looked to Dr. Cho, “You already gave him the antipsychotic meds the day he was admitted.  You said they were only temporary.”

When Steve finally did get to go back to see Danny that first day, it was because Danny was asking for him, or more correctly, demanding to see Steve, and the doctors were worried the hard-won battle to stabilize his heart rate and blood pressure would be lost if they didn’t calm Danny down.

Steve walked so quickly down the hallway the nurse acting as escort was practically jogging to keep up with him.  He was only half listening as she told him they’d eased up on the sedative they’d given Danny to better monitor his mental state, but if he continued to act out, they were prepared to put him all the way under again.  By then, Steve could hear raised voices coming from the room at the end of the hall, one of them definitely Danny’s.  It was Steve’s turn to break into a jog and skid to stop in the doorway to see Danny swinging his legs over the side of the bed and pulling at the IV port in his hand.

“Hey, hey, Danny, what the hell do you think you’re doing?” Steve demanded, elbowing his way into the small crowd of doctors and nurses trying to keep Danny in bed.

Danny was pale, hooked to various monitors, but he was sitting and bitching, and Steve couldn’t stop the sigh of absolute relief to see him this way.

Steve saw a similar flash of relief in Danny’s eyes that quickly shifted into anger.  “Oh, so look who finally decided to show up.”

Steve frowned at the comment that sounded like Danny had been sitting here impatiently waiting for him this whole time instead of teetering on the edge of death.  “I came back here as soon as they let me.”

“Hours, Steven.  I’ve been asking after you for  _hours._ ”

Steve’s frown deepened, even as he pushed on Danny’s knee to get him back in bed.  “I think you’re a little confused, Danny.”

“I’m confused?” Danny demanded incredulously.  “ _I’m_ the one who’s confused?”

Steve could hear the rhythm of the heart monitor increasing, and out of the corner of his eye he saw the nurse move to check the IV bag.

“Well, one of us is confused,” Steve noted diplomatically, hoping like hell it would appease Danny and they wouldn’t increase the sedative.  He was finally in the same damn room with him, and now that Steve had seen him awake, he sure didn’t want him out and unresponsive again.  “And since I’m here now it really doesn’t matter which one of us it is.  Right?”

Danny started laughing.  “One of us?  Babe, none of this is real.  None of it.  And I’m the only one who seems to know that.  Everyone in this damn place is confused  _except_ me.”

It was the drugs talking, Steve reminded himself.  Either the ones from the factory, or the ones they’d been pumping Danny full of, or a combination of the two.  It was all the drugs, and eventually they’d clear his system and Danny would start making sense again.  In the meantime, Steve just needed to do his best to keep Danny calm.

“If all of this is fake, why were you asking for me for hours?” Steve challenged as he adjusted the blankets back over Danny’s legs.

“To warn you,” Danny told him simply.

“You’ve warned me, Danny.  You’ve told me it’s not real.  Mission accomplished.”  Steve patted at Danny’s chest, partially to sooth him and partially to push him back against the pillows.

Danny gripped the hand on his chest desperately tight as he leaned forward to say in a low voice, “Not that; the water.  It’s just going to get deeper, Steve.”

“Water?  Danny, there’s no water,” Steve reassured.

“Oh, yeah?” Danny scoffed.  “Then what the hell is that ankle deep liquid you’re standing in?”

On second thought, Steve decided, maybe it would have been better if Danny were still out, because all of the relief he’d felt seeing Danny up and talking was draining away the more he said.

“Danny, look at me.”  Steve used his free hand to cup Danny’s jaw to raise those blue eyes he loved to meet his.  “There’s no water.”

“You really are insane,” Danny countered.  “It’s everywhere, Steve, it’s...shit!”  Danny’s eyes widened in panic, and he started to stand up on the bed, desperately tugging on Steve’s hand he still held to pull him along.  “For God’s sake, get up here!  It’s rising too fast, the whole room, it’s...Steve get up here!”

Behind him, Steve could hear the monitors alarming, the doctor calling for an additional push of sedative, but Steve was focused on Danny.

“Danny, I swear to you, there’s no water.  Just lie back down.  I promise, we’re safe, just lie down.”

Danny swayed where he knelt on the bed as the sedative hit his bloodstream, his hold on Steve’s hand weakened, and his warnings about rising waters slurred. 

Steve eased Danny back into the pillows, the whole time keeping up his litany of reassurances.  Hell, he didn’t even know what was coming out of his mouth at this point, seeing as he felt almost as panicked by the whole situation as Danny, but for entirely different reasons.

Especially when Danny looked at him with the same sleepy grin he’d given him in bed that very morning and mumbled, “You’re not real.” 

“Of course I’m real, Danno.”  Steve gripped Danny’s hand tighter to prove the point.  “I’m real, and I’m here now, and I’m not going anywhere.  You and me, we’re going to get through this like we always do.  I promise.”

Danny huffed a little laugh.  “ _We’re_ not real.”

Steve sucked in a harsh breath, like he’d been punched in the stomach, because that’s exactly what it felt like to hear Danny say  _they,_  the collective  _they,_  the  _they_ that had made his life feel whole for the first time in his adult life, wasn’t real.

_It’s the drugs,_  Steve reminded himself, yet again.   _He doesn’t really believe that, it’s just the drugs.  Danny loves you, you know that, you_ know  _it, and so does he._

Still, Steve dropped his eyes from the amused look on Danny’s face to their joined hands. When he glanced up again, Danny was thankfully out. “When this is all over, you’re going to owe me big time for that one, pal”

Dr. Cho had approached him then.  “Commander, we need to discuss treatment options, and since Detective Williams is currently incapacitated....”

It took Steve a second to understand what she was saying.  He rubbed above his eyebrow where a headache was apparently settling in for the long haul. “Uhm, yeah, the paperwork should be on record--”

“It’s all in his file,” she assured with a pat to the folder in her hands.  “You’re his designee in situations like this.”

Steve had been for years, just like Danny was his, even before they’d become a real goddamn  _we_.

“Since we’re beyond emergency response at this point, you’ll need to give consent to start him on antipsychotic meds, to hopefully alleviate the hallucinations, at least until the drugs clear his system.”

“Danny’s not crazy,” Steve argued, and even he could admit it was more than a little defensive.  But, by God, that’s what he was supposed to do, defend Danny, especially when Danny couldn’t defend himself.

“No, but the drugs are influencing his brain chemistry the same way schizophrenia might, so we treat the symptoms in the same manner until his brain can start operating properly on its own.”

A part of Steve was screaming, ‘Yes, absolutely!  What the fuck are you waiting for? Give him the drugs!’ because it was the first time all day that he felt like there was some plan, some path forward, that could give him some semblance of control over the situation.  That was something Steve desperately needed right now, to feel in control once again.  The other part of him was rationally saying, ‘Slow down.  You need Danny alive more than to feel better yourself.’

“So, there’s risks, right?” Steve forced himself to ask.  “With any drug like that there’s risk.  Like with his kidneys...you were worried about them earlier.  Or his liver.  He gave me part of his liver a few years ago--”

Dr. Cho raised her hand to silence Steve.  “Yes, we’re aware of the liver donation, and yes, we’ll have to watch his liver function and his kidneys, as well as a few other things.”

“Like what other things?”

Steve did his best to focus on what the doctor was telling him, to ask follow up questions, and eventually he signed the paperwork she handed over.  Then he dragged a chair over beside Danny’s bed, sat, and glared in warning to anyone who even looked like they might ask him to leave.  In the end, the drugs seemed to be working.  

At least, they had been until an hour ago, and now here he was having almost the exact conversation, only with a kid a few years out of medical school.

“The drugs obviously didn’t help him before,” Steve argued.  “What makes you think they’ll work this time?”

“There’s as much art to psychiatry as there is science,” Dockery explained.

“So maybe you should have got an art degree instead of a medical license,” Steve snapped back.

Dockery looked to Cho for help, so she tried to placate.  “Commander--”

Steve, however, was in no mood for it.  He was frustrated, exhausted, and if he were honest with himself, scared shitless after watching Danny cut open his arms.  “No, we’re done here.  Unless you can give me an answer that will fix this, that will fix Danny, we’re done.”

Dockery took a deep breath and shifted his weight, as if working up the courage to finally say, “Look, there is no easy answer or easy fix for this situation.  There are dozens of variables that could help or hinder his treatment.  It could be as simple as adjusting his dosage, or we may need to try another drug entirely, or even a combination of drugs.  Each person reacts differently.  I can’t promise you we’ll get it right the first time, or even the second, more than likely there’s going to be some trial and error, especially since we’re dealing with the effects of a brand-new illegal drug.  But I can promise you, Commander, that I won’t give up until we find what works for Detective Williams.”

“Listen to me very carefully,” Steve cautioned.  “I want you to put your ego aside, all your east coast medical school bravado, and you tell me straight up, will this work?”

Dockery gave one confident nod of his head.  “If he does what I tell him, takes the drugs as prescribed, immediately comes to me with any problems, we’ll find something that works.”

Steve studied the young doctor for a few seconds, felt reassured by the conviction he saw, then reached out a hand.  “Give me the papers to sign.”

Dockery grinned happily and handed them over.  “Besides, it sure can’t be any worse than what you’ve got going on now.”

Well, so much for the reassurance.  Although, Steve really couldn’t argue with the point he’d made.

Steve shook his head even as he signed his name.  “Kid, you need to learn to stop talking while you’re ahead.”

~H50~H50~H50~H50~H50~

Steve dialed Danny’s phone yet again as he ran a yellow light...that had turned red about 10 seconds before he reached the intersection.  He cursed when it once again went to voicemail just like the other two dozen or so calls had since he left the crime scene.

“Danny, where the hell are you?” and more importantly, what the hell was he doing.

It had been about two weeks since Danny had been discharged from the hospital, the new drugs Dockery had prescribed seemingly doing their job.  So far, the side effects had been occasional dizziness, which the doctor thought would pass with time, but it kept Danny from driving and off active duty. 

Steve had stayed home with him most of the first week, that was until Danny told him that he was the one driving him crazy, not the drugs, and that Steve needed to get the hell out and back to work and stop hovering like a nervous granny, or he was seriously going to punch Steve in his stupid face.  That was enough to let Steve know Danny was finally getting back to normal.  No hallucinations since he’d been discharged and cranky as usual was a great combination in Steve’s book, so he went back to the palace.

Of course, he checked in at least hourly, either by text or phone, and Danny always replied—often with a smart-ass comment about worrywarts, sometimes with a ‘yeah, babe, I’m fine’, and once with a selfie as he got out of the shower that had Steve taking an extra long lunch at home, in bed, with Danny, doing a hell of a lot more than eating sandwiches.

Whenever he was heading out in the field, he always texted Danny to let him know.  Usually, he got a response that involved warnings...  “Don’t do anything idiotic.  Oh, wait, that’s impossible with you.”  “Try not to get shot; any organs I could donate aren’t exactly in the best shape right now.”

Today, however, Danny hadn’t responded.  Steve had sent a second text, promising to text again when the raid on the traffickers was over, tried his best to convince himself that Danny was probably in the shower.  He tucked his phone away behind his vest as he made a mental note to install a phone line in there if this happened again, then led Junior and Lou into the warehouse.  

As soon as the scene was secure, he checked his phone, fully expecting to see a response.  There was none.

“Sir?  Everything okay?” Junior asked as Steve hit the speed dial for Danny’s phone.

“Danny’s not answering,” he said tensely as Danny’s recorded voice told him to leave a message.  “You and Lou got this?  I need to--”

“You want me to go with you?” Junior asked.  “HPD can take it from here.”

Steve considered the offer, then considered what he might find when he got home.  Danny was embarrassed enough about the whole situation, if he was having an episode no reason for anyone else to see it.

“No, I’ve got it,” Steve assured, even as he hit redial.

And had continued to hit redial most of the drive home, in between imagining all the shit that Danny could have done.  He’d locked up any guns in the house, but there were still kitchen knives and scissors and broken glass and ...shit.  He floored the Camero and blatantly blew through the next red light.

Although, when he pulled up in the driveway, he saw Danny simply sitting on the front stoop.

“Danny, what the hell?  I’ve been calling and texting you--”

Danny didn’t look up, just waved a hand toward the front door.  “I’ve been out here and my phone’s in the house.”

“For two hours?” Steve demanded, his worry quickly morphing into anger now that he saw Danny wasn’t hurt.  “You’ve been sitting here for  _two hours_?”

“Has it been that long?”  Danny gave a humorless laugh and rubbed at this forehead.

Steve blinked when he saw the way Danny’s hand was shaking, and decided his initial assessment of Danny’s wellbeing was way the hell off.  Squatting in front of his partner, he placed his hands over the trembling ones clenched on Danny’s knee.

“Hey, what happened?”

“I had to leave, get out.” Danny hitched a thumb behind him toward the house.  “The walls were closing in on me.”

Steve sighed.  “I get it, you’re getting cabin fever.  Maybe you can come into the office with me for the rest of the day.”

Danny shook his head.  “No, Steve, the walls, they were literally closing in on me.  I was laying on the couch when all of a sudden the ceiling fan was lowering towards me, the walls started moving, the whole stairway was being crushed and collapsing in on itself, then this massive fucking wall of water came crashing in...”

“Hey, Danny, it’s okay, it’s okay.”  Steve, however, knew it wasn’t okay, not really.

“I think...Steve, I think maybe I need to go see the doctors again.”

Danny’s admission had Steve exhaling in relief.  “So, you know it wasn’t real?”  Because that was a good sign, a real good sign.

“I know something’s not real,” Danny conceded.

“Okay, so let’s go inside, get your shoes, and we’ll give Dockery a call--”

“No, no, I don’t want to go inside.” Danny was shaking his head and pulling away from Steve.

“Danny, you just said you know it didn’t really happen--”

“No, I did not say that.  I said something’s not real.”  Danny raised frightened eyes to meet Steve’s for the first time.  “What if you’re the thing that isn’t real?  What if you, you and me, here, right now, is the hallucination, and all the water and destruction inside is what’s real?”

“Danno...”

“What if we go in there and the... the staircase is really destroyed? Then that’s proof, that’s proof that you’re not real--”

Steve did the only thing he could think to do to try to calm down Danny, to try to calm himself; he leaned forward and kissed him.  When Danny started to pull away, Steve moved with him, keeping contact and tugging on Danny’s lower lip until Danny was kissing him back.

Danny was an amazing kisser.  Kono had clued him in on that after one of the very first cases they’d worked together when she and Danny had been pretending to be drunk and fooling around by the pool. 

Steve had approached her afterwards where she stood watching Danny arguing with an HPD officer. “You okay, rookie?”

“All good, bossman,” she assured.

Steve followed her gaze then shook his head at the way Danny’s arms were waving.  “He sure has a mouth on him, doesn’t he?”

Kono had shrugged with a mischievous grin.  “He’s got some lips on him, that’s for sure.”

It took Steve a second to understand what she was talking about, but the blush at realizing she’d said it out loud confirmed the intent.  “Seriously?  Danny? A good kisser?”

She simply shrugged again as she turned to join Chin where he was talking to the coroner.

“Seriously?” Steve demanded again of her retreating form.

Kono turned to walk backwards, which was impressive given the heels she was still wearing, and spread her arms wide.  “Hey, don’t knock it until you’ve tried it.”

It had taken him nearly eight years before he finally did work up the nerve to try it, but in the time since, Steve had partaken in the entire repertoire of amazing kisses Danny had to offer.  From a chaste greeting, to tender comfort, to downright smutty with the promise of much more to come, Steve loved every single one of them.  The current one was on the desperate side, like Danny was afraid it might be the last kiss he ever shared with Steve.

Steve moved his mouth to trace along Danny’s jaw.  “Still think this isn’t real?”

The stuttering breath Danny pulled in was all the answer Steve needed, so he leaned his head against Danny’s and confessed at his ear, “When Wo Fat had drugged me, I saw a lot of crazy shit.  Even when you guys found me, I wasn’t sure what was real and what was in my head, but you, you grounded me, Danny.  You led me back.  I trusted you to do it, and you did.  Can you trust me to do the same for you now?” 

Danny wrapped an arm around Steve’s neck and nodded his head into the crook of Steve’s shoulder.  “Yeah, okay, what the hell. Right?  Not like finding out the love of my life is all in my imagination would be that surprising given my typical luck.” 

Steve took advantage to wrap his own arms around Danny and pull him to his feet.  “Your imagination is nowhere near good enough to come up with someone as awesome as me.”

Steve grinned at Danny’s glare when he took a step back.  “Okay, now I’m kind of hoping the stairs are destroyed.”

Taking Danny’s hand in his, Steve tugged him toward the front door, pulling a little harder when Danny stopped at the welcome mat, so that he nearly tripped over the threshold and into the living room with its typically Danny-caused cluttered mess, but no major destruction.

Steve turned him to face the undamaged stairway face on and gripped Danny’s shoulders.  “Looks like you’re stuck with me, Danno.”

A shudder ran through Danny’s body, and he huffed out, “Oh, thank Christ.”

Steve wrapped his arms around Danny from behind.  “I love the hell out of you, Danny.  Don’t ever doubt that.”  He rubbed his fingers over the super soft t-shirt fabric covering Danny’s chest.  “If you can’t trust your eyes, trust your heart.  You know I’m real, and I’m going to be here through this entire fucking mess until it’s fixed.”

“You mean until _I’m_ fixed,” Danny corrected before asking hesitantly.  “What if they can’t fix me?  What if that shit really fucked me up so bad they can’t fix it.”

“Hey, listen to me.  I know your first instinct is to think the worst, but I was right about the stairs, wasn’t I?”

“Yes, yes you were right about the stairs.  You were right that my brain isn’t working right.”

“Danny, you’ve been claiming my brain hasn’t worked right since we first met, and yet that didn’t stop you from sleeping with me.  So how is this any different?”

“Because it’s me.  I’m the sane one in this partnership.”

“I got news for you, buddy, no one thinks you’re really all that sane.”

“That’s only because I’ve been hanging out with you for all these years instead of running for the hills,” Danny scoffed. 

“You running anywhere that doesn’t involve chasing down a criminal, especially in the hills, would definitely be out of character.”

“Not everyone’s workout consists of a daily Ironman competition, but that’s beside the point.”

Steve couldn’t help but grin against the soft skin behind Danny’s ear to hear him up to his normal bitching.  “Oh, yeah, so what is the point then?” 

“The point is, Steven, if I’m crazy, and you’re crazy, then there’s no sane person to stop you from going off and doing something stupid and getting yourself killed.  And the only thing worse than being crazy, is being crazy and alone.”

“That is never going to happen, Danny,” Steve promised.

“And why is that?  Are you going to do something novel, like stop doing stupid things?”

“First of all, I don’t do stupid things.”

“I beg to differ.”

“Beg away.  In the meantime, I plan to make sure you stay sane.”

“I think it might be easier for you to stop with the whole stupid things crap.”

“Again, I don’t do stupid things.”

“Again, I beg to differ.”

“Yeah, but you have to agree, we never do anything the easy way.”

“Babe, that’s not exactly something to brag about.”

“Okay, how about this?  You and me, we always find a way to make things right, to make them better than before.  Can you beg to differ on that?”

“No, that’s something worth bragging about.”  Danny turned and kissed him again, this one full of trust and affection that lingered tingling on Steve’s lips in a way that had him licking them when it was over.  “Despite the stupid things you do.”

Steve rolled his eyes.  “Get your shoes and your phone so we can get the hell out of here and track down Doc Dockery.”

Danny shoved his feet into his sneakers then grabbed the phone off the coffee table.  “Jesus Christ, ten texts and twenty-eight missed calls?  Are these all from you?”

“Yes, they are.  I was worried, okay?  Really worried.  So, I... I called, a few times.  A lot of times.”  With a sigh of embarrassment, Steve shook his head.  “Can we just, you know, go, please?”

Danny gave Steve an odd look, like he was going to try to tell Steve not to worry so much, which wasn’t going to happen, period, as long as the hallucinations kept happening.   But then Danny stuck the phone in his pocket and said, “It’s a good thing we have the unlimited text and talk plan.”

“Good thing,” Steve agreed, ushering Danny out the door and locking it behind him.

Danny slid into the passenger seat of the Camero, buckled up, and remained silent for a whole three blocks before saying, “So I was thinking, maybe, maybe, I should start coming into the office with you.  I know I’m not cleared to work, but I think it would be better, you know, there, with you and the others, in case this happens again.”

Steve bit his tongue to keep from thanking Danny profusely.  The thought that Danny would be there, within sight, lifted a huge weight off Steve’s chest.  Instead, he nodded and pursed his lips thoughtfully.  “Well, you know, if it will make you feel better, then sure, I think that’s a good idea.”

Danny’s only reply was to start scrolling through the call log and texts on his phone as he mumbled, “Twenty-eight missed calls and _I’m_ the one who’s going to feel better.”

“You’ll feel better because I’ll feel better,” Steve justified.

Danny’s eyebrows rose.  “So that’s how this is going to work from now on?”

“That’s how this has always worked, Danny.  If you’re good, then I’m good, and vice versa.”

“Right,” Danny agreed.  “You’re good, I’m good, we’re good.”

“We’re all good,” Steve reiterated and ignored how neither of them sounded completely convinced of their statements.


	2. Chapter 2

“So, what’s the prognosis?” Lou asked when Steve and Danny walked into the office.

“Prognosis is, I’m still nuts,” Danny responded tersely as he poured himself a cup of coffee.

Steve ignored the comment, although he could totally relate to the frustration.  “The doctor adjusted his meds again.  He thinks the hallucinations are being triggered by visual stimulants, like the pattern of my tattoos, or the spinning of the ceiling fan, or the lights reflecting off the water in the swimming pool at the murder scene.”

Five months later, and the hallucinations were still occurring.  Not daily, but frequent enough that Steve still didn’t feel comfortable leaving Danny alone.  Frequent enough that Danny refused to be alone with his kids. Frequent enough that Steve had learned to recognize when they were coming on even if Danny didn’t.  He’d seen it that morning, seen the way Danny’s eyes, hell, his whole being, lost focus as he gazed into the pool right before they widened in fear when the plastic dinosaur floaty bobbing in the water became real in Danny’s mind.

Tani had seen it, too; it was her wary, “Danny?” that had pulled Steve attention from the responding officer’s sitrep to see Danny’s eyes traveling up higher and higher tracking the growing monster.

Danny’s first instinct had been to go for the gun at his hip...the gun he still wasn’t allowed to carry.  His next had been to pull the one Tani did wear before she even realized what Danny was doing.

“Whoa, Danny, what the hell?” she exclaimed, as Danny lifted the gun to fire.

Steve had started running as soon as Danny’s hand came away from his non-existent holster empty, and he vaulted over a chaise lounge and tackled Danny right as he got off the first shot with Tani’s sidearm, easily knocking the gun from his hand.

“Get the fuck off me!” Danny demanded, his finger’s scrambling to reach the dropped gun.

Steve’s longer arm, however, reached it first and tossed it even further away.

“Are you out of your goddamn mind?!?” Danny demanded in outrage.

Steve, honest to God, almost laughed at the irony of Danny asking him that question, probably would have if he couldn’t feel Danny trembling in sheer terror beneath him.  

If possible, Danny’s eyes widened even more as he looked past Steve’s shoulder.  “Move, Steve!  Move, move, MOVE!”

“It’s okay, Danny.  There’s nothing--” Steve’s words were cut abruptly short as Danny gave up on fighting and instead yanked Steve down by his shirt front and held him tight against his chest, so tight Steve could barely breath.  “Danny… ” he managed to grunt out.

It was still a few seconds before Danny finally eased his hold and lifted his face from where he’d buried it in Steve’s neck.  “It...uh...it was...”

Steve pushed himself up enough to look into Danny’s eyes that were still hazy.  “I know.  It’s okay, now.”

“It didn’t eat us,” Danny stated in amazement as he looked around, raised a shaking hand to run through his hair.  “Where the hell did it go?”

“Danny.   Hey, Danny!  Look at me.” Steve ordered, following the directions Dockery had given him to try to pull Danny out of his fog when this happened.  Danny’s eyes flicked to Steve’s briefly but then began searching for his delusion once again, until Steve snapped, “Danny, right here, look at me!”  When Danny finally complied, Steve calmly walked him through the breathing exercises they’d been taught, using them to settle his own frazzled nerves as much as Danny’s.

It was almost as unnerving to see reality settle back into Danny’s eyes as it was to see it leave, because it always brought the realization of what had happened along with it.  

“What...?”  Danny asked in momentary confusion, followed by a heavy sigh as his head dropped back to the grass.  “Fuck, it happened again, didn’t it?”

“It’s okay,” Steve assured.

“No, Steve, it’s not okay.   _Okay?_ It’s not.”  Danny was shoving at Steve to get up so he could do the same.  “It is nowhere near okay.”  Steve stood and helped Danny to his feet, steadying him when he swayed before Danny pulled away again. “It is the fucking opposite of okay.”

“Come on, inside, let’s go.” Turning Danny away from the pool and the threatening floaty, Steve ushered Danny past the body on the cool decking, inside the house, past a slew of HPD and the forensics team, and into what looked to be a guest bedroom.  Dimly lit, minimal decorations, nothing that could remind Danny of a dinosaur or any other damned creature that wanted to eat them, it was exactly the sort of place the doc had recommended to decompress.

Steve pushed Danny gently to sit on the bed, did his best not to pace the small space between the bed and the closed door.  “You need a glass of water or anything?”

Danny snorted.  “Yeah, water, that’s exactly what I need when I’m already drenched...”  He paused, looked himself over, realized that the water the monster had splashed from the pool was just as imaginary as the creature itself.  “Christ,” he exhaled into his hands. 

“Danny, it’s okay--”

“I swear to God, Steve, you say that one more fucking time, and I will punch you.”

Steve rubbed at his forehead, trying to think of something else to say, because Danny was right; it wasn’t okay, not by a long shot.

“You want to tell me about it?”

Danny sighed and waved his hand to encompass a very large space.  “It was...stupid is what it was.”

“You didn’t think it was stupid when you tried to shoot it.”

“Oh, Jesus,” Danny groaned and hung his head. “I’m going to be a goddamn laughing stock.”

“Whatever it was, it scared the shit out of you, so I don’t find that very funny.”

“Yeah, well, you’re probably the only one out of all the people who saw me freak out over an imaginary T-rex standing up in swimming pool.  I mean, Tani was--”

“Keeping people back, so I could do my thing and help you sort it all out,” Steve told him.  “She knows what this is all about.  It could have just as easily been her with these problems, would have been if not for you.   You listen to me, no one,  _no one_ is going to laugh.” When Danny rolled his eyes, Steve continued more firmly.  “I’m serious.  You were injured, in the line of duty, saving a fellow officer’s life.  If you had lost an arm or a leg, would they be laughing?  No, and they aren’t going to be laughing now.  And if they do laugh...”

“What?  You’ll kick their ass for me?”

“No, I’ll laugh at them after you kick their ass.”

Danny actually grinned at that, and Steve sat beside him, close enough their shoulders were pressed together.

“It didn’t last long,” Steve told him.  “The breathing exercises helped to clear your head.  That’s good, right?”  When Danny acquiesced with a shrug, Steve leaned in a little closer.  “Plus, if I was going to be eaten by a dinosaur, being held by you is exactly how I’d want it to go down.”

“Now who’s making fun of the injured officer?”

“I’m serious, Danny; dying in your arms?  That’s a dream come true.”

Danny leaned back, as if repulsed by the idea.  “That’s a fucking  _nightmare_ come true.  Yeah, I’ve had that dream...you bleeding out, you mangled from an explosion, you poisoned or irradiated or mauled or--”

“I’m trying to be romantic here,” Steve justified.

“More like morbid,” Danny countered.  “And sure, you get to go out peacefully in my arms--”

“Considering how you imagine I’m going to die, I’m not sure peaceful is the word I’d choose.” 

“--and what do I get?  I’ll tell you what I get, Steven--”

“Please, by all mean, tell me.  I’m sure it can’t be worse than how you picture me dying.”

“--I get to live on, a long, lonely, life with only the memory of you...  _dying_ in my arms.”

“Fine, fine, instead of being with the man I love at the end, I’ll skulk off, I’ll find somewhere to die alone. Some dark alley, or in the jungle somewhere, maybe a cave where all the walls are covered with algae.”

“Thank you, Steve.  I really appreciate the thoughtfulness.”  Danny tapped at Steve’s knee.  “Now,  _that’s_  romantic.”

Steve trapped the hand before Danny could pull away.  “You know what’s really romantic?  You pulling me close when you thought we were going to be eaten by a dinosaur.”

“Maybe I was just using you as a shield.”

“Maybe you’re just crazy in love with me.”

“Crazy for being in love with you.  But in love...no maybe about that one, babe.”

Steve squeezed the hand in his, taking the lack of shaking as a good sign.  “You need a few more minutes?”

“No.” Pulling in a deep breath, Danny shook his head.  “No use putting off the walk of shame.”

Steve started to argue the point once again, but stopped himself.  Best for Danny to simply see for himself that no one was going to taunt him over the episode, he secretly hoped like hell he was right. Mentally running through the personnel who were on-scene, he and Danny had worked with most of them for years.   Those he didn’t know, he would have to depend on Duke to make sure they stayed in line if they had any other thoughts.  If nothing else, Steve knew he had a reputation of protecting his team from any perceived threat, and dealing with said thread with extreme prejudice. That alone would keep most of the HPD in check. 

When he opened the door, however, he realized he had nothing to worry about.

Tani and Junior had taken up a position in the hallway outside the bedroom.  Tani’s narrow-eyed glare threatening anyone who even thought of coming close to the door softened when Steve stepped out followed by Danny.

“Hey, Danny, how you feeling?”

It dawned on Steve this was the first time anyone else on the team had really seen Danny experiencing a full-blown hallucination like this.  It was still unnerving for Steve who had been present for most and for the aftermath of all of them.

“Whoa, hey, what’s this about?” Danny asked, and Steve finally saw what Danny had seen beyond Tani’s expression of worry. 

Guilt.

Tani dropped her eyes.  “I’m sorry.  I’m so so sorry.  If I had reacted sooner to the shooter, if you hadn’t pushed me...”

“Oh, come on now.”  Danny pulled her into a hug.  “If you had done those things, what then? Both of us would have been messed up in the head?”  Pushing her back with his hands on her shoulders, Danny chastised, “Look, none of this bullshit, you hear me?  It happened, okay?  It happened the way it happened.  Am I happy it happened to me?  To me personally? No.  But I’m very happy it didn’t happen to you, and I want you to be happy about that, too.  Think you can do that for me?  Else, why did I do it?”  Danny grimaced.  “You’re not going to crap all over my noble sacrifice, are you?”

Tani gave a little snort and shook her head.

Danny patted her shoulder and turned her to walk back through the house.  “Good.  Now, I’m not very happy with how easily I disarmed you today.  You’re going to work on that, okay?  Next time it might not be a crazy person trying to save you from a T-Rex; it might be a crazy person trying to hurt you.”

Tani rolled her eyes.  “Why would I be worried about the guy who recruited me and gave me the gun stealing it from me?”

“My point is, you need to be aware of that weapon at all times,” Danny justified as they made their way through the house.

Steve didn’t know if Danny had intentionally chosen that moment to lecture Tani as an excuse to ignore everyone else at the crime scene, but it worked.  Steve didn’t complain, just fell in step beside him...and maybe gave a few stern looks at anyone he caught staring in Danny’s direction.

They’d left Tani and Junior to finish up at the murder scene, gone straight to see Dockery, then back to the palace.

“And the whole visual stimulant thing, is that useful information?” Lou asked.

“It’s helpful in knowing anything can set me off,” Danny answered.  “Strobe lights, police lights at crime scenes, reflecting sunlight...you know, things that make it nearly impossible to do my job.”

“It lets you know where not to look,” Steve offered.

“Yeah, don’t look at anything,” Danny griped. “Problem solved.”

“But does it give them a better idea on how to treat it?” Lou clarified his original question.

“Dockery thinks he can recreate it,” Danny explained.  “Wants to do it in a controlled environment and measure my brain activity while they try different treatment options.  See if he can find the best drugs to use for what’s specifically going on in my head.”

“That could be good news, then,” Lou noted, then frowned when he caught the look on Steve’s face.   “Or not?”

“I don’t know,” Steve admitted.  “I’m not sure how I feel about the plan he laid out.”

“You don’t like that they want to lock me up in a psych ward for several weeks,” Danny challenged, using his little wooden stirring stick to poke at Steve’s chest.  “Believe me, I’m not thrilled about that either.” 

“They’d be taking you completely off your meds,” Steve countered taking hold of Danny’s wrist.  

“The doc explained it; they have to have a clean baseline to start from for the testing.”

“I know, but the last time you were without drugs...” Steve traced a finger along one of the scars on Danny’s forearm.

Danny didn’t pull away, simply twisted his wrist to grip Steve’s in return.  “I think they’ll be a little more careful with the sharp objects this time, babe.”

“So, you want to do it?”  Steve asked with a sigh.

“No,” Danny confessed, “but I want to be me again.”

Before Steve could argue that Danny was still Danny despite all the crazy shit he was seeing, Jerry walked in.

“Hey, Danny, how’re you feeling?”

Steve couldn’t stop the grin at the way Danny flicked his eyes heavenward, as if praying for the strength to answer the same question he had a thousand times in the past several months.  

“Not like a dinosaur is about to eat me, so that’s an improvement.”

Yeah, Danny was definitely still Danny.

“Glad to hear it,” Jerry said, completely unfazed by the statement.  He then looked to Steve.  “It’s a good thing you were there to aardvark him.”

“Aardvark?”  Danny sought out Steve with worried eyes.  “Steve?”

“No, I heard him say it, too.”   Steve straightened from where he was leaning against the tech table.  “Aardvark, Jerry?”

“Oh, I had a great uncle who had a stroke when I was a kid,” Jerry explained.  “Sometimes he’d get confused and start talking crazy stuff... how someone broke into the house just to steal his scissors, how my cousins and I were going to cause a power outage if we kept playing with his flashlight, how the mailman was a North Korean spy.... although I’m not completely sure he was wrong about that last one.”

“Jerry,” Lou interrupted, “the aardvark?”

“Oh, right,” Jerry nodded and finally got back on track.  “When he’d start saying or doing something that was off, my aunt would say, ‘aardvark’.  It was a code word they had that would key him in that he wasn’t making sense.”

“But aardvark?” Danny asked in the same what the fuck tone Steve was thinking. 

“Hey, if it worked, it worked,” Lou said, even as he stood to answer the phone ringing in his office.

Jerry shrugged.  “Not like that word comes up in day to day conversation.  It was odd enough that it usually did the trick to jar him out of one of his rants.”

Steve and Danny exchanged a look, one that said, ‘can’t hurt to try’.

“Gotta say, it’s a better code word than chicken salad,” Danny noted.

Steve rolled his eyes at that long-standing argument, but was stopped from doing anything more when Lou leaned out his door.  “Steve, can I see you for a second?”

“Sure, Lou.”  The look on the older man’s face said it wasn’t going to be good news, so when Steve entered his office he asked warily, “Everything okay?”

“That was a friend of mine from my SWAT days, now she works as an admin in the Office of Professional Standards.  Apparently, they’ve opened an investigation into Danny firing a gun at the crime scene.”

“Are you...are you fucking kidding me?” Steve demanded, lowering his voice to keep from upsetting Danny who was watching from where he stood by the tech table.  Not that he wouldn’t be upset soon enough, but no use rushing it.

“It’s standard procedure to investigate any officer related discharge of a firearm,” Lou tried to appease.  “You can’t read too much into this.”

“But Danny sure the hell will.”

And, yeah, maybe Steve was, as well.

~H50~H50~H50~H50~H50~

“Oh my God.... is that...?” 

Well, they always knew the team would figure it out eventually, and Steve should have known it would be Tani that noticed it first.  Although, seriously, it had been three days, and he was starting to wonder how they’d solved any of the cases they had if this was the level of observation skills the team had to offer.  A few seconds later, the somewhat astute young woman stormed into Steve’s office, her hand firmly latched around Danny’s wrist as she dragged him along behind.

“Alright,” she demanded, “show me your hand.”

Steve put down his pen and did as she ordered.

“Your _left_ hand,” she stressed irritably.

Steve sheepishly held up the left one with the simple gold band, very similar to the one Danny wore.

“Oh my  _God_ ,” Tani repeated.  “Are you fucking kidding me?  You two got  _married_?”

“You don’t have to sound so disgusted by the idea,” Danny grumbled, pulling his own hand back.

“I’m not disgusted that you got married,” Tani clarified, “I’m disgusted you did it and didn’t invite me.”

“Me neither,” accused Junior, who came to stand behind Tani.  Actually, _loom_  behind Tani was a better description of his stance.

“Or me,” Lou chimed in from the doorway, arms crossed. “And don’t even get me started on what Renee is going to have to say about the snub.”

The three of them turned to look at Jerry, who had remained silent.  “Hey, I’m just happy I wasn’t the only one not invited.  I’ve been trying to figure out what I did to piss them off since I noticed the rings three days ago.”

“ _Three day_?”  Tani, Lou, and Junior all said in unison.  Steve wasn’t sure if they were angrier with him and Danny or Jerry for not telling them.

No, it was definitely him and Danny.  

Of course, it didn’t help matters when Danny informed them, “Well, technically, it was Friday when we got married, so it’s been six days, but no one saw us over the weekend.”

“Look,” Steve tried to appease when the collection of frowns deepened, “it’s not like we intentionally didn’t want you there, it all happened really fast, like within a few hours, just to take care of some legal matters.”  

Lou’s eyebrows shot up.  “Are you saying this is a marriage of convenience?  That you married Danny and it’s nothing more than a legality?”

Steve shrugged uncomfortably.  “Well, that, and I love the hell out of him and want to spend the rest of my life with him.”

Lou threw up his arms.

“There was nothing really to see,” Danny dismissed.  “It was at the court house with the judge, we answer a few questions, signed some papers, and that was that.”

“A few questions?” Junior’s eyes narrowed dubiously.  “Like, do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?”

“That may have been one of them,” Danny admitted, looking to Steve for confirmation as he stuffed his hands in his pockets.

“There might have been some stuff about having and holding,” Steve confirmed.

“So, vows.” Tani nodded in agitation.  “You exchanged vows and didn’t think that, oh, I don’t know, some of your closest friends, your _ohana_ _,_  might want to be in attendance and bear witness to something as sacred as committing your lives to one another?”  

Steve hadn’t lied, not really; the whole past few weeks had been a whirlwind, what with Danny’s firearm discharge review, and the decision to go forward with the medical tests, and then Danny’s last decision that still had Steve’s head spinning more than the rest of it combined.

They’d just finished up meeting with Dockery, going over the procedures for the tests, the risks, the fact that there was always a chance they could do more harm than good, that there could be permanent damage as a result. Slim, but still a chance.

They’d stepped out into the hallway when the consult was finished, and before Steve could voice his concern about every damn part of it, Danny had rubbed his forehead, a signal Steve recognized as Danny planning to say something and it was going to be something Steve wasn’t going to like to hear.

“Listen, I need you to do something for me.”  Danny waved a hand toward Dockery’s office.  “This whole thing, it could go sideways pretty fast.”

“No shit,” Steve agreed with a heavy sigh.

“And even if it works out great in the end, the start isn’t going to be pretty, and you know, you didn’t sign up for this--”

Steve shifted, hands on his hips.  “Danny, I swear to God if you say what I think you’re going to say, I may have to smack you.  We are in this together all the way.  All the fucking way.”

“I’m just saying that if you wanted to bow out--”

Steve’s eyes narrowed dangerously.  “All the fucking way.”

Danny visibly relaxed and nodded.  “Okay, then, if you really mean that--”

“I really goddamn do mean it,” Steve reiterated with no room for doubt.

“--then you need to take over things.”

Steve’s frown morphed from irritation to confusion.  “Take over what things?”

“Me, Steve, I need you to take over me, my life, my decisions.  You heard what the doc just said; I’m not going to be capable of doing that for myself when they take me off the meds to prepare for the tests, or during the time they have me safely locked up in here while they putz around in my brain.  If I can’t do it, then I need you to do it for me.”

“But I already have the medical authority--”

“That’s only if I’m unconscious and can’t give consent.  This is...more... all of it.”  Danny shook his head and stepped in closer.  “Babe, it scares the hell out of me that when I’m out of it I think I’m making the right decisions when I’m not.  I don’t want to hurt someone, hurt myself, hurt you or the kids...  and I need to take care of this now, make it official while I still can make these decisions and haven’t gone completely nuts. I’m afraid one of these times, I might not come back, like I’ll get lost inside my head, in what I’m seeing and won’t be able to find my way out.”

“Then I’ll find you, I’ll pull you back,” Steve promised.  “Danny, you know I’ll always come for you, no matter where, I’ll be there. ”

“Then do this for me,” Danny pleaded, his agitation growing.  “I mean, Christ, you’re such a control freak you try to run everything anyway.  I figured you’d jump at the chance to be one hundred percent in control of every aspect of my life with my full blessing.”

Steve could hear the frustration in Danny’s voice, but more than that, he could see the fear was genuine.  “Okay, Danno, let’s go see Odell, see what our options are.”

Odell walked them through the various choices for granting Steve power of attorney over Danny’s affairs. They decided on a durable power of attorney that would immediately grant Steve authority to make all medical, legal, and financial decisions on Danny’s behalf. 

Danny tapped at Steve’s arm as they sat on a bench in the storeroom Odell used as his makeshift office in the barber shop.  “Listen, there’s just one thing I ask; don’t let them restrain me.  With the claustrophobia... I can’t stand to even think about being strapped down.”

It made Steve’s stomach clench to think it might come to that, but he knew from past experience, there was a chance the situation could get that bad.

Steve squeezed Danny’s knee pressed against his own.  “I promise, Danny, I won’t let them do that.”

Odell, who was filling out the forms, made the offhand comment, “You know, this would be a hell of a lot easier if you two were married.  We could cut out a bunch of this paperwork.”

Steve and Danny had exchanged a look, then Danny asked skeptically, “Really?”

“Yeah, absolutely,” Odell told him without looking up.  “Plus, it saves a lot of proving your claim.  People just accept that a spouse can do things without wanting a bunch of documents signed in triplicate.”

When neither Steve nor Danny said anything else, just sat staring at each other, Odell looked between the two.  “What?  Seriously?”

Steve hadn’t really realized how much he wanted this, wanted it right goddamn now, until that very moment. He didn’t want to freak Danny out either, so he did his best to sit quietly watching Danny mull the idea over in his head while every fiber of his being was screaming, ‘yes, yes, yes!’.

“I have my grandfather’s wedding ring,” Danny finally told him.

Steve’s face broke into a wide smile.  “So do I.”

Odell sat back in his chair with a shake of his head.  “Man, I wish you guys had decided this sooner.  I need a whole different set of forms.”

Steve stood, taking Danny’s arm to pull him up, as well.  “We’ll be back in a few hours.”

“Judge Parker,” Odell recommended as they headed out the door.  “She does a nice job with a quickie ceremony.  From what I saw yesterday, she has a light docket today since my client copped a plea last night.”

It wasn’t until they were in the Camaro heading off to pick up the rings that they realized all the people who would be pissed off if they weren’t invited.

Like the four currently glaring at them in Steve’s office.

“Steve’s right,” Danny defended.  “It happened fast.”  He waved a hand at Junior and Tani.  “Besides, you two were tracking down that art dealer on Kaua’i. Lou took the afternoon off to go shop for sofas with Renee.”

“Just one more reason you should have called and invited me to save me from that torture,” Lou grumped. 

“And Jerry...” Danny continued, “...yeah, we probably could have invited you, but then we didn’t think that would be fair to the others.”

“So, it was just the two of you and the judge?” Junior asked, and this time he sounded less accusatory and more sympathetic.

“Us and Grace and Charlie,” Steve confessed.

Before anyone could bitch, Danny chimed in, “Hey, they’re our children, they had to be there.”

Steve got a little choked up at the way Danny included Steve in the possession of the kids and did his best to hide it.  Although there was no hiding the ridiculously happy smile on his face.

Danny, catching sight of it, rolled his eyes.  “Oh, for the love of God...”

“Our kids,” Steve repeated the phase with a bit of awe.  “You’ve never said it that way before.”

“Well, they are,” Danny confirmed.  “And you are now legally responsible for their happiness.  That may not be specifically spelled out in the durable power of attorney paperwork but it should be, and you’re going to treat it like it does stipulate that as a requirement.”

“Durable power of attorney?” Lou forehead creased in concern.

“Yes, Steve is now officially running my life,” Danny informed them.  “Not that much has changed other than he now has legal standing on his side instead of just being an idiot who ignores anything other than what his own warped brain comes up with”

“With that sort of romantic talk, how could I not marry him?” Steve scoffed.

“And why does Steve have durable power of attorney?” Lou pressed.

Danny sighed.  “Because I’m letting the doctors run the tests on my brain.   Today’s my last dose of antipsychotics for a while.”

“Wait, what does that mean?” Now Tani’s voice was filled with the same worry as Lou’s.

Danny waved toward Steve, who took the gesture as Danny indicating he was responsible for everything now so he could explain it.  “It means he’ll need a couple of weeks to clear the drugs fully from his system, and during that time he’ll be much more susceptible to hallucinations.  After that, they’ll admit him to the hospital for several more weeks and measure his brain activity while they try different treatment options, until they find one that works.”

" _Hopefully_  find one that works,” Danny corrected.

“They’ll find one,” Steve stated confidently.  “And when they do, we’ll cancel the POA, and everything will be the way it was before.”

“You planning on cancelling the marriage, too?” Jerry asked.

“No,” Steve and Danny answered together, and yeah, that fucking smile came back to Steve’s face, only this time Danny wore a similar one.

“Then, I think, if we didn’t get to attend the wedding, we should at least be able to attend the wedding reception,” Junior told them.  

“No, no,” Steve said, even as Danny shook his head, “We don’t have time to be planning--”

“No, Junior’s right,” Tani cut off the argument.  “The only reason anyone goes to a wedding ceremony is for the party afterwards.”

“What about the whole sacred vows thing?” Danny challenged. 

“Yeah, okay, that too,” Tani allowed, somewhat reluctantly, “but the reception is always the best part.”

“And don’t worry, we’ll plan it,” Junior offered.

“We’ll take care of everything,” Tani assured.

Tani and Junior looked so eager and hopeful, Steve was finding it hard to say no.  He looked to Danny.  “What do you think?”

Danny shrugged.  “Don’t ask me; you’re the one making all my decisions now.”

Steve wasn’t sure where a party fell in the whole legal, financial, or medical realm, but he gave one nod of his head.  “Okay, fine.  Just...nothing too crazy, a simple gathering of close friends.”

“Nice and simple,” Junior assured.

Tani smiled and gave a little clap of excitement.  “Just one more thing... do you think we could use your back yard to hold it?”

Steve stared at her in disbelief.  

“I’ll leave this to you,” Danny told him with a pat to Steve’s shoulder.  “Gotta say, babe, I’m liking this decision to have you run my life more and more.”

“Thanks for the vote confidence,” Steve told him sarcastically.  

Although Steve knew Tani’s request was the least stressful decision he’d have to make for a long while to come.


	3. Chapter 3

“Are you sure about this, Doc?”  Steve asked through his phone even as the lights flickered in his kitchen.  The winds were really starting to pick up out there.

“Commander, Dr. Vance’s flight was cancelled ahead of the storm. Even if you brought Detective Williams in now, we couldn’t start the tests until the day after tomorrow at the earliest.  He’ll be more comfortable, therefore calmer, at home.  Besides, it’s going to be crazy here at the hospital with the storm.”

Steve was worried more about it getting crazy at home.

Danny had been all set to start the tests with Dockery that week.  The young doctor was even bringing in his mentor from his residency to assist. Then the damn hurricane that had been safely churning out in the open Pacific had taken a hard right at the last minute and turned their best laid plans to shit. The Big Island was taking the brunt of the storm, and even at that, it was only a Category 2, but the feeder bands currently drenching O’ahu were still packing a wallop.   At least the storm surge wasn’t expected to be too bad on Steve’s side of the island to cause them to evacuate.  Still, Danny had been without his meds for over two weeks and had already had a few incidents, and just like the storm, they were expected to get worse as time passed.

“Maybe we should put off the test, let Danny take his medication again,” Steve suggested.

“I really don’t think that’s for the best,” Dockery countered.  “The swings aren’t going to help matters.”  When Steve didn’t answer, just scrubbed a hand through his hair in a manner the doctor couldn’t see but apparently understood from the accompanying silence, Dockery suggested, “Do you have anything that will make him sleepy?”

“I thought he needed to stay clear of drugs.”

“Nothing like a full-blown sedative,” Dockery clarified.  “Something over the counter for allergies maybe.  My parents used to slip me and my brother Benadryl before a long flight when we were kids.  Just something to take the edge off.”

Steve thought for a few seconds then remembered the first time they’d taken Charlie and a friend out fishing, and the boys had spent the entire trip out puking over the side of the boat. “We have Dramamine.”  Fortunately, Rachel had been smart enough to pack some in Charlie’s pack for the day, and while there was very little fishing because the boys were sacked out on a stack of life preservers for the rest of the trip, at least they stopped personally chumming the ocean.  Since then, they’d kept a supply of motion sickness medicine on hand.  

“Perfect,” Dockery told him.  “Keep him dosed up on that, and he’ll probably sleep through the entire storm.  We’ll touch base again once the weather clears.”

“And if he doesn’t sleep through it and has another episode?” Steve asked in dread.

“Call me and we’ll figure out something else.  I’m sorry, it’s not--”

“Yeah, yeah, I know, not an exact science,” Steve lamented before disconnecting and going in search of Dramamine then Danny.

Danny was just ending a call with Grace when Steve entered the bedroom.  “Kids and Rachel are all prepped at her place.”

“She’s far enough inland that they shouldn’t have any problems,” Steve assured.  When Danny still looked worried, Steve told him, “We’ll keep checking in with them for as long as the cell towers stay up and running.”

“And what if I...” Danny’s hand fluttered around his head.

“Then  _I’ll_  keep checking in on them,” Steve promised.

Danny nodded, not happy but at least satisfied for the time being.  “So, what did the good doctor have to say?”

Steve shook a couple of the small tablets into his palm.  “Take two of these and call him in the morning.”

Danny’s brow furrowed in confusion.  “He expecting the house to float out to sea?”

“He’s expecting us to spend the next twelve or so hours snoozing in bed.” Steve stopped Danny before he could protest.  “You’ll be snoozing, I’ll be checking in on the kids, and watching you sleep.”

“That’s not creepy in the least,” Danny noted, but he took the pills and started chewing.

“Come on, it’ll be nice,” Steve reasoned, trying to put a positive spin on the whole situation.  “You and me snuggled up in bed; how often do we get an excuse to do that?  It can be the honeymoon we never got.”  When Danny didn’t look too convinced, Steve continued.  “Besides, kind of hard to be triggered by a visual stimulus if your eyes are closed.”

“Look at you finding the silver lining in the ominous storm clouds building on the horizon.”

Steve smiled, even though Danny’s comment was dripping with sarcasm.  “We still need to secure a few things and fill the water jugs. By then, you should be ready to crash.”

Steve finished taking down the strings of lights Tani and Junior had put up for the wedding reception while Danny took care of the water and replaced the batteries in flashlights.  Despite Steve’s reservations about holding the party in the backyard, it turned out for the best when Steve had to aardvark Danny halfway through the night.  Steve had caught it early enough, ushered Danny into their bedroom and talked him down from the belief that a tsunami was building just off their beach.  When Danny started making sense again, they tried to figure out what might have triggered him.  It honestly could have been anything, and Steve wasn’t thrilled with the idea of Danny returning to the party and maybe repeating the ordeal.

Danny plopped onto the foot of the bed, propped his arms on his knees, and hung his head. “We can’t just not go back outside after everything Tani and Junior did; they’ll never speak to us again, which, if nothing else, would be shit for team moral.”  

Steve squatted in front of Danny, tilting his head to try to make eye contact.  More to keep a watch on Danny to make sure his expression was still clear. “They’re adults, they’ll get over it.”

“I’ll stare at the ground,” Danny offered, “or adoringly into your eyes.  That’s what married people do at their receptions, right?”  

“You tell me; this is my first wedding reception, at least as the guest of honor.”

“I may not be the best person to ask.  I was completely smashed at mine with Rachel.  I spent most of the night trying not to up-chuck the piece of wedding cake she fed me.”  Danny chuckled.   “Rachel was so pissed at me, we had no photos together from the reception after we cut the cake.  We didn’t even have a first dance.” 

“Not exactly the best way to start a marriage.”  Steve flashed a rueful grin of his own.

“Neither is hallucinating in the middle of the party.” Danny’s own smile wavered.

Steve shrugged.  “I don’t know, seems kind of appropriate for us.  You’re always saying we never do things the easy way.”

Danny shook his head in amazement.  “You are so stubborn.  You’ve found a way to make everything okay in your head even though it’s totally fucked up.”

“It’s not okay, Danny, it’s goddamn perfect.”  Outside, Steve could hear Flippa playing his ukulele, so he hefted Danny to his feet and led him to open the door to the balcony off the bedroom.  “Come on, you’re getting that first dance this time around and the photos that go with it.  Just keep your eyes shut; I think it might have been the flashes from the cameras that triggered you before.”

Danny closed his eyes as directed, letting Steve pull him in once they were outside so that they were chest to chest and swaying to the music.  “They’ll have to see us up here first,” Danny noted dryly.  “Considering how long it took them to even notice we were married, we may be in for a wait.”

Steve leaned his head against Danny’s, closed his own eyes and used his hand on Danny’s lower back to pull him in a little more.  “Then we’ll get a second and third dance, too.”

Once again, it was Jerry who caught sight of them first.  And Tani was having one of the photos she took framed the following week.

All and all, it was such a great night that Steve couldn’t be too angry that Junior never had a chance to take the lights down before the storm hit.  Although Steve was soaked through by the time he had all the remaining decorations packed away. 

Steve made it inside right before the steady rain turned into an all-out downpour.  He took the beach towel Danny handed over as he stepped in from the lanai, using it to dry the rain dripping off his face and ostensibly to cover his smile at the way Danny yawned so wide his jaw actually popped.  It looked like Dockery’s plan might work after all.

“The wind is seriously picking up out there.”  With a hitch of his chin, Steve indicated the stairs.  “I’ll meet you upstairs.  Just going to get the lights down here.”

As if on cue, the lights flickered once more and went out.

“Impressive.  Can you pull a rabbit out of a hat?” Danny yawned again. 

Steve stepped in close, rubbed a small circle into Danny’s chest.  “No, but I can pull you into bed.”

Snagging Steve’s hand, Danny headed for the stairs.  “Say the magic word and I’ll let you pull a few other things.”

Steve let himself be led up the stairs, thinking some slow, lazy sex might not be such a bad idea.  He headed into the bathroom to deposit his wet clothes in the hamper.  Judging the light level in the bedroom, he grabbed his sweats and t-shirt hanging behind the door.  Ever since that first hallucination where Danny freaked out over his tattoos, Steve had been careful not to let Danny see them, either wearing a shirt to cover them, or making sure it was dark enough he couldn’t make out the shapes.  

Danny had done nothing more than shed his jeans and t-shirt across the bedroom floor then crawled into the bed in just his boxer briefs, where he lay curled on his side.  Steve was somewhat disappointed to see Danny was actually wearing his own briefs today and not Steve’s.

Steve took one final check out the window, watching the palm trees bending in a particularly strong gust.  Even though it wasn’t noon yet, the sky was almost black; Danny hadn’t been kidding about the ominous storm clouds.  Pulling the curtains closed, Steve placed his phone on the nightstand along with the flashlight, then spooned up behind Danny in bed.

When Steve pressed a kiss behind his ear, Danny took Steve’s hand and interlaced their fingers.  Steve exhaled in utter contentment, allowing himself a few precious seconds to forget about the storm, about the impending medical test, about the chance that Danny could start hallucinating at any time, and just savored the feel of the man in his arms, his  _husband_.  He still had trouble wrapping his brain around that one, but in a good way, in a ‘holy shit, how did I fall into something so great’ way. God, he loved this, loved Danny, loved their life, even as screwed up as it was at the moment, and at times like this it almost felt  _normal_  again.

“Steve?”

“Hm?” Steve murmured against Danny’s shoulder.

“I don’t want to appeal the review.”

Honestly, with the tests and hurricane, Steve had pretty much forgotten about the Office of Professional Conduct review and Danny’s pending appeal of their finding that Danny should be removed from duty.  The committee had been willing to hear an appeal based on the results of Danny’s test and subsequent treatment, so they at least had that going for them...until now.

“Why not?” Steve asked in confusion as he propped on an elbow.  Steve had been livid with the findings.  Danny had accepted them as a forgone conclusion before the very first interview.

“I’m tired of rehashing the same shit over and over, and I sure the hell don’t want them digging into all my medical files.” Danny sighed.  “You knowing what’s going on...I’m glad you do.  I  _need_ you to know else... I don’t know what I’d do if I was dealing with this on my own.  And the rest of the team, I get that they want to know because they really do care, but they don’t pry beyond what we tell them.  We just don’t need a bunch of strangers all up in our business.”

“But Danny, there’s no reason to remove you from duty.  You’re still a good cop.  And we can take precautions with the other stuff, at least until you’re--”

“Better?”  Danny turned onto his back to look up at Steve.  “Babe, you know as well as I do that there is no getting better from this. Under control?  I hope to God Dockery can come up with some way to do that, but there is no getting better.”

Steve did know it, deep down he’d always known it, but he refused to accept it, even now.

“At least let the doctors run the tests before you make a decision,” Steve bargained.

Danny shook his head.  “Listen, I have another idea.  I can retire from the force; if they count my time in Jersey, I have my twenty years in for my full pension and I can keep my union medical insurance. Then you can hire me onto the task force as a special consultant, kind of like Jerry.  No gun, no HPD review boards, but I’m still there every day.”

The idea took Steve by surprise, not just because Danny had come up with it, but because it could be a win-win for everyone.  “And you’d be okay with that?”

“The only thing I’d miss is not being able to be your backup anymore,” Danny confessed.

“Danny, you’ll always be my backup.   The part with the gun, that barely scratches the surface,” Steve told him earnestly.  “What I get from you, from  _us_ , it’s a hell of a lot more than busting the bad guys, it’s...fuck, it’s the best thing that has ever happened to me in my life.  Just you being here with me like this is all the backup I’ll ever need.”

Danny tugged on Steve’s t-shirt to pull him down into a warm, lingering kiss.  “That’s very romantic, Steven, and you know I feel the same way about you. But seriously, someone needs to keep you from doing idiotic things in the field.”

“Oh, like you need a gun to call me a moron,” Steve scoffed.  “You’re more than armed and dangerous with nothing more than that mouth of yours.”

Danny’s eyebrows rose at the observation, but there was a glimmer of humor in his eyes.  “Is that a challenge?  You want to see how dangerous this mouth of mine can be?”

Steve grinned, easing down on the bed so that he was pressed along Danny’s side and could grip Danny’s hip to pull him a little closer.  “Yeah, I’d like to see that.”  Then he kissed that dangerously talented mouth before Danny could waste time making another smartass comment.

Shifting slightly, Danny rolled further into Steve’s space, hooking his foot behind Steve’s knee so that Steve had little choice but to slide his leg between Danny’s, where Steve could feel Danny growing harder through the cotton of his briefs.  The sensation had Steve deepening the kiss, and all disappointment about whose underwear Danny was wearing vanished, much the same way he planned for the boxer briefs themselves to vanish shortly. 

Steve, however, was in no hurry, and neither was Danny; he seemed to be enjoying taking his time as much as Steve was.  Steve had spent the past month so caught up in the preparations for the tests, both medically and legally, that when the storm changed course, he’d added it to the ever-growing list of crap he had to deal with. He’d never considered that it could be a blessing in disguise, a chance at twelve to twenty-four uninterrupted hours alone with Danny with literally no way to respond if a case did come in. Steve had no intentions of wasting that time with rushed sex. 

Danny gave one languid roll of his hips, then another, rubbing against Steve’s leg even as his hand moved in the same unhurried manner along the back of Steve’s thigh, over his ass, and up under his t-shirt so that Danny’s thumb could work a lazy circular pattern on a warm patch of skin just above Steve’s hipbone 

Steve couldn’t stop the moan that was forming deep in his throat, his own fingers skimming over bare skin as they mapped their way across Danny’s lower back, along the length of his spine, and finally across the expanse of Danny’s shoulders.  Steve could picture the freckles he knew were there, spattered across the pale skin that was typically hidden beneath button ups, then spilling over the top of his shoulders, like sea spray from a wave breaking on a seawall.  Steve’s lips went in search of those speckles, skimming across the sensitive skin of Danny’s collar bone along the way, even as Danny’s mouth moved to suck and nip along Steve’s neck.

Danny became preoccupied with one spot on Steve’s throat, and yeah, that was going to leave a mark, but Steve didn’t give a damn.  As far as he was concerned, Danny could write ‘property of Danny Williams’ across Steve’s forehead in a Sharpie marker if he wanted, because Steve couldn’t deny the truth of the declaration, never even wanted to.  All he could do at the moment was bite his lower lip and nuzzle blindly against Danny’s temple as Danny continued to suck and flick his tongue on Steve’s skin.

The first time Danny had left a hickey on Steve, Danny got a high five from Tani, and Steve got a ration of shit from Lou.  Steve also got a raging hard on every time he caught sight of it in the mirror, and Danny got a blowjob in the Camaro during lunch.  So, Steve would happily take the love bite; hell, he secretly hoped Danny might give him a few.   In fact, he’d become so preoccupied with the sensation of receiving one, that he hadn’t realized Danny had untied Steve’s sweats until he was tugging to pull them down.  Steve lifted just enough from the mattress for Danny to work them past Steve’s hips then Steve kicked them the rest of the way off before helping Danny shimmy out of his briefs.

His mind went to the lube in the drawer, but that would mean losing contact with Danny, even if for a few seconds, and Steve decided pretty quickly that was not an option, especially when Danny was sucking at Steve’s earlobe in a way that sent a jolt straight to Steve’s groin.  All Steve wanted was Danny, warm and pressed against him, so he slid his thigh back between Danny’s and rested his hand on Danny’s ass to feel the undulation of his muscles as Danny resumed the slow, sultry roll of his hips.

Steve twisted slightly, so his own dick could rub against Danny’s pelvis with each gyration, thrusting back with the same long slide of flesh against flesh in return.  He honestly didn’t know which was better, the friction of their bodies setting up a steady but unrushed rhythm, or the heat of Danny’s mouth on his and the leisurely play of Danny’s tongue against his own.

Jesus, it was good.  All of it.  The sound of Danny’s breath becoming a little more ragged.  The salty tang of Danny’s skin on Steve’s tongue as he dipped it into the hollow of Danny’s throat. The touch of Danny’s finger tips as they sent little jolts across Steve’s overheated skin.  It felt like his entire body was being fueled from the fire slowly building in his belly and spreading to the base of his spine.   It was a heady mixture of relaxation and arousal, and only Danny could make him feel like he was going to melt while also keeping him rock hard.

Danny licked at Steve’s lower lip as he rested his forehead against Steve’s.  “Good, babe?  You like it?  Is it enough?”  His words rumbled in his chest, filling the small space between them.

Steve huffed an aborted laugh against Danny’s lips at the ridiculousness of the question.  “It’s more than enough.  It’s everything.  _You’re_ goddamn everything.”

“Steve… “ Danny ran his nose along the length of Steve’s before kissing him until Steve felt like he’d never catch his breath again. 

Steve couldn’t remember ever feeling so greedy to be touched, to feel Danny’s hands on his body, to caress Danny in return. He felt like he’d been deprived of all of this for days, years, even though he knew that wasn’t the case; he’d touched Danny dozens of times this morning alone, but he had this irrational fear building in his chest that this was all going to vanish and he’d never feel anything ever again.  Danny seemed to pick up on the need, and his strong hands were caressing over every inch of Steve he could reach, pulling him closer and just increasing the pressure in the best way possible. 

Steve felt Danny’s muscles tighten even before the rush of warmth between their two bodies.  Danny didn’t cry out, just exhaled a series of staccato moans against Steve’s neck before nuzzling the same spot and sucking in air. Danny didn’t stop moving until Steve came, as well.  It wasn’t a climax so much as the sensation of being slammed by a wave while surfing, of knowing it was coming and knowing there was no way to stop it, but still experiencing that same sudden punch of adrenaline, the same feeling of freefall, of tumbling end over end and not knowing which way was up.  The only thing missing was the spike of panic when the water first closed over his head, because Danny was there, talking him through it, murmuring a rambling stream of, “I’ve got you. You’re incredibly like this. Christ, I love you.” 

As soon as Steve collapsed into his pillow, Danny fell silent, and went boneless in Steve’s arms, so that Steve would have thought he’d passed out if he didn’t finally exclaim breathlessly, “Fuck... what you do to me, babe, it’s...fuck.”

Steve knew the feeling, was currently floating in an all-encompassing warmth that tingled through his entire body.  He kissed the top of Danny’s head then rolled to his back, bringing Danny along with him, still hungry for Danny’s touch. Danny’s cheek was resting on the t-shirt fabric covering Steve’s chest and he slid his hand under the shirt to press against Steve’s abs as Steve curled a long strand of blond hair around his fingers.

The chaotic sound of rain and wind roared outside their bedroom window, but here in their bed, Steve had never felt more content. 

“If I ever get lost, this is where I want to find my way back. This place, right here, right now, with you.” Danny’s words sounded more asleep than awake.  He snuffled against Steve’s chest once before settling and exhaling a long, satisfied sigh.

“I’ll be here.” Steve smiled and continued the play of his fingers through Danny’s hair, waiting until Danny’s breathing evened out into sleep before reaching for his cell phone.

Steve sent the first text to Grace, receiving a response back that everything was fine there and asking how Danno was doing.  Steve thought of sending a photo back of her dad sound asleep to alleviate any worry, but couldn’t get the angle right to cut out the accompanying nudity.  Instead he sent a few sleeping and drooling emojis and got a laughing until crying emoji in return.   Promising to check in with Grace a little later, he texted Junior to see how Eddie was doing with the storm.  Junior sent back a photo of a very happy Eddie getting a belly rub from Tani, who had apparently decided to ride out the storm at his place, and again, assured his two teammates that Danny was fine, as well. 

Steve kind of wished Eddie was still with them at the house, but Junior had already picked him up in preparations for dog sitting while Danny was going through his tests at the hospital. Ended up, Eddie was extremely sensitive to Danny’s mental state.  In fact, it was Eddie who had cued Steve into the fact that Danny’s reality was slipping at the party.  He’d also woke Steve in the middle of night with a bark the week before to find Danny on his knees in bed beside him about to punch his fist through the window above their bed.  Apparently, he’d been trying to punch a hole to drain out the water in the aquarium where they were being held captive.  Steve had tackled him into the mattress before he could do any damage to himself or the house.  Two nights later, Steve could hear Eddie clawing at their bedroom door when he woke with Danny’s arm wrapped firmly around his neck, dragging him off the bed.   Steve could have easily flipped Danny and had him in a chokehold of his own, but he managed to grunt out a few frantic aardvarks that finally got through.  Danny had looked at him in confusion that turned to relief, then told Steve he was trying to swim to shore with Steve to start CPR. So, Eddie could have come in handy during the storm, but as it was, it looked like things might go okay without him, especially if Danny continued to sleep like he was. 

Steve had always thought it was weird that almost all of Danny’s hallucinations involved water in one form or another.  He knew Danny wasn’t a fan of the ocean, but he’d come to enjoy surfing occasionally over the years, and played in the lagoon with Charlie all the time.  Dockery had told him the hallucinations could pull on some stuff buried deep in Danny’s subconscious, he’d just never realized how deep that dislike of water ran.  Steve loved the water, felt at home there, always had.  It was suddenly strange to find himself living a life where water was a threat, even if it was just in Danny’s head.  It was even stranger to find himself so entwined with another person’s life that his fears had become Steve’s own.

Once he’d finished with his texting, Steve checked the weather app, saw that the current feeder band would pass in the next half hour, then drifted off for a while, himself.

He bolted awake with the wind and rain pounding on the window.  Checking his phone, he saw he’d been asleep for almost three hours, long enough for the next round of storm bands to pummel the island, this one much stronger than the ones before.  He also saw that he’d missed several texts, from Lou, Junior, and Rachel all checking on Danny.  Steve returned them all, apologizing for not responding sooner.  He then decided he really needed to hit the head and should also check the house.

Danny woke as soon as Steve tried to ease out from under him, raising his head and looking around groggily.  “What’s wrong?”

Steve brushed a mess of blonde out of Danny’s eyes.  “Nothing.  Just need to take a piss and check downstairs.”

With a yawn, Danny sat up.  “Heard from the kids?”

“Yeah, a few minutes ago.  They’re fine.  So’s everybody else.”  Doing some quick math, Steve reached for the Dramamine.  “Time for another dose.  You need anything?”  He also handed over the bottle of water to help Danny avoid the cottonmouth of the drugs and stay hydrated.

Danny drank and scrubbed at his face before chewing on the tablets and waving a sloppy hand between himself and the bathroom.  “I could make use of the facilities myself.”

Steve grinned at the sleepy expression he’d come to love seeing when he woke.  Leaning in, he pressed a kiss to Danny’s lips.  True to form, there was a two second delay before Danny’s brain kicked in and he kissed back.

“You take the one up here,” Steve offered, “I’ll go downstairs and use that one before I make the rounds.”

Danny nodded, barely swinging his legs over the side of the bed by the time Steve had already pulled his sweats on again.

“You good?” Steve asked, and received an impatient wave over Danny’s shoulder before Danny finally stood, rolling his neck to work out a kink as he padded toward the bathroom.

Satisfied, Steve headed downstairs and took a leak in the guest bathroom.  When he came out, he could hear something banging in the den.  Rounding the corner, he saw what had probably woke him.  One of the trees from the side yard had fallen, or at least a massive branch had broken off, and crashed through one of the windows.   The wind was blowing so hard, rain was puddling on the wood floor.

“Shit,” Steve sighed, knew he had only himself to blame for not boarding up all the windows, but he’d thought that one would be safe given the way the lanai was oriented.

Slipping into his shoes to keep from stepping on broken glass, Steve tried to push the branch out from the inside, to no avail.

“Steve?” Danny called from upstairs.  “How’s it going down there?  You find a breach in the perimeter?”

“Something like that.”  Steve walked back so he could see Danny leaning on the banister.  “One of the windows is busted.  Just stay upstairs; there’s glass all over the place.  I need to seal it up to keep the rain out is all.”

That and move a freaking tree, but he didn’t need Danny, half asleep thanks to the Dramamine, trying to help.

“Just go back to bed, maybe text Gracie and Charlie.  I’ll be back up in a few minutes,” Steve promised.

Danny turned and stumbled somewhat drunkenly back toward the bedroom.  “This stupid island.  How could so little landmass come up with so many ways to try to kill a person?”

Steve waited until the bitching became fainter before heading outside.  There was no doubt that they were being hit by hurricane force winds now, and Steve wondered if the storm had shifted again while he’d been asleep and was aiming for a more direct hit to O’ahu.  Fortunately, the window wasn’t that far from the door.  Still, the rain was blowing vertical, stinging as it pelted against his skin, along with any other debris the storm was picking up.

Once outside, Steve could see it wasn’t the whole tree, just a large chunk of it.  There was no way he was going to be able to pull it out on his own.  He thought of cutting it with a hack saw, but the way the wind was whipping around, he wasn’t sure that was going to be possible either.   Besides, he didn’t want to leave Danny alone for that long.  He did have a come-along winch in the garage that might do the trick.

Steve dug out the winch and headed back out into the wind and rain.  He was already soaked through the few minutes he’d been outside.  Attaching one end of the straps to the branch, he used the patio supports below the bedroom balcony as the leverage, but as soon as he started working the crank, the smaller branch he’d connected to snapped.  With a curse, Steve wiped rain from his eyes and went back to the tree, working his way among the smaller branches to find a sturdier anchor point.  He wrapped the hook once again, gave it a cursory check, and deciding it was good, went back to the crank.  This time it held, and he succeeded in pulling the tree and most of the remaining glass free of the window pane.  He went to remove the cable from the tree, managing to cut his hand on a shard of glass he didn’t see hidden in the branches.

Pulling his hand back with a painful hiss, he gave it a cursory once over.  Blood was already mixing with the rain water and running down his arm.  He couldn’t see clear enough to tell if he was going to need stitches, but he’d need to bandage it up, at least, before he finished with the plywood over the window.  For the time being, he stripped off his t-shirt and wrapped it around his hand, so he could at least disconnect the cable from the post below the balcony and put the winch away.  The last thing he needed was the winds picking up even more and whipping a metal cable around.

It was difficult to get the hook disconnected with his makeshift bandage, and it became even more difficult when something dropped onto his head from above.

“What the...”  Steve looked over to see Eddie’s bed that normally sat in the corner of the bedroom lying on the ground beside him.  Glancing up, he saw Danny standing totally nude on the balcony yelling at him.

The wind was blowing so hard he couldn't make out the words, but Danny was pointing frantically at the bed and mouthing the words ‘grab it’.  Then he pantomimed what Steve thought was him pulling a rope.

Oh, fuck.  Danny was hallucinating again.  Probably something involving Steve overboard in a storm and Eddie’s bed was evidently a life preserver.

Danny threw up his arms in a gesture Steve had seen a thousand times before, one that meant, ‘you’re a moron who doesn’t have enough self-preservation instincts to save yourself.'  He disappeared, only to reappear a few seconds later with one of the cushions from the chaise lounge on the balcony, the one’s they’d stored in the bedroom to ride out the storm, tossing it down as well.  Apparently, in Danny’s mind, they could be used as a flotation device in the event of a water landing.

When it bounced off Steve just like the pet bed, Danny cupped his mouth and yelled what sounded like, “Swim harder!”

“Danny, aardvark!” Steve yelled back.  “Aardvark!”

Danny either didn’t hear him or didn’t care, because he threw another cushion from the patio set above.  Oh, for fuck’s sake; he was going to drag their mattress out next if Steve didn’t put a stop to this.  

“AARDVARK!”

 Steve once again wished Eddie had stayed with them, although the way things were going, Danny may have tried the throw the dog overboard to save Steve, as well.... or take matters into his own hand.

Fuck.

Dropping the winch, Steve sprinted back inside.  “Danny!” he called as he took the stairs two at a time.  “Danny, I’m okay!”

“Danny!” he yelled louder as he burst into the bedroom, then more frantically, “DANNY, STOP!” when he saw Danny throwing a leg over the railing on the balcony.

A confused, “Steve?” was all the answer he got, but at least he hadn’t jumped, not yet.

“Yeah,” Steve said as calmly as possible, “it’s me.  I’m okay.”  Although his heart was racing madly, and very little had to do with his run up the stairs.

“But you went under the waves, then you didn’t come up.  I saw you, then I didn’t.  I thought...”

“I grabbed the life preserver you threw, climbed up the side.  You must not have seen me.” Okay, that was a complete fabrication. “You saved my life.”  That was absolute truth.  Danny had saved him, time and time again, pulled him back from the brink, physically and emotionally, more times than he could count.  Steve just hoped to God he could do the same for Danny right now.  “Come down off of there and back inside.  Okay?”

Danny looked over the edge then back at Steve, finally putting both feet solidly on the balcony.  Steve exhaled in relief as Danny walked the short distance to where Steve waited in the doorway and wrapped his arms firmly around Steve’s waist.

Steve held him just as securely, pulling him in close and murmuring, “See? Nothing to worry about. It’s all good.”  The reassurance as much for himself as Danny.

“But the ship...it’s not going to hold up...” Danny said against Steve’s shoulder.

Steve reluctantly pushed him back, just enough to look into Danny’s still hazy eyes.  “Aardvark, Danny.” He pushed his fingers through Danny’s hair that was matted to his face and forehead by the rain.  “Do you understand?  Aardvark.”

Danny’s eyes, however traced over Steve’s bare chest, quickly followed by his fingertips.  “I can’t remember the last time I got to look at you like this.”

Belatedly, Steve remembered he wasn’t wearing his shirt, and he watched as Danny’s eyes moved to his shoulders.  “Danny, close your eyes,” he ordered, but was ignored. “Danny!”

Danny’s eyes flicked up to Steve’s.   The water made his lashes look darker, which just made the blue that much brighter.  “You are so goddamn gorgeous.  How can you be this gorgeous?”  Danny asked dazedly.  

Steve found himself mentally asking the same question.  God, he could get lost in that blue, lost like Danny thought Steve had been in turbulent blue waves, lost like Danny currently was in his hallucination. 

“Christ, but I love you,” Danny professed, then those blue eyes moved back to Steve’s body and his fingers traced over Steve’s tattoos.

“I love you, too, Danno.” Steve fought to keep his voice from cracking with the conflicting emotions rushing him at the moment...love, fear, regret, dread that at any second Danny was going to freak out because of the patterns on his arms.  He’d fucked up, lost the battle to keep Danny from seeing them, knew Danny would incorporate them into the visions he was currently experiencing.  “I love you with everything in me, with every fucking inch of me.  And there isn’t a part of me that would hurt you.  Ever.  Every bit of me wants to keep you safe.”

Danny’s lips curled into an amused smile as he pulled his hand away from Steve’s biceps and twirled his wrist slowly, watching it carefully then tracking his sights down his arm to the elbow, then quickly placing his other hand under there, as if to catch something dripping.  He then turned his attention to the hand that had just come away empty, but in Danny’s mind seemed to be holding something delicate and precious that was currently working its way up that arm.   Steve could almost picture his tattoos running down Danny’s one arm and up the other, caressing as they slithered their way along Danny’s skin.

Danny turned a hazy smile to Steve, holding his arms up to show him something he obviously found incredible.  “So goddamn gorgeous.”

Steve leaned in, kissed Danny’s forehead as he went back to watching the tattoos curls around his arms.  “Yeah, Danny, you are.”

There was a part of Steve that said he should do everything he could to pull Danny out of the hallucination, the other part was just relieved Danny’s brain had turned his ink into something soothing instead of a threat.  At this point, he’d take it.  He’d take Danny sitting mesmerized on the edge of the bed while Steve stripped out of wet clothes, quickly dried himself off, and bandaged his hand.  

Danny spared him a small smile when Steve came back and toweled him off, as well, then moved compliantly back up to the pillows and under the covers to lean back against Steve’s chest and watch his hands until the drugs finally kicked in and he fell back asleep. 

Steve thought about the window, the winch, all the shit he still needed to do.  There was a good chance the flooring was being ruined by the rain that was no doubt puddling in the den.  Steve didn’t care, about any of it.  The only thing in the world that mattered was currently sleeping against his chest, one hand resting possessively on the tattoos on Steve’s arm.

~H50~H50~H50~H50~H50~

Steve waited for the orderly to unlock the door then gave him an exhausted smile of thanks.   As hard as the weeks of tests had been on Danny, Steve was starting to think they were just as hard on him, especially after the last conversation he’d had with the doctors.

He’d eventually excused himself, went out in the hallway, and called Noelani.

“Commander?” she’d asked with a hint of worry, aware that Steve wasn’t at work since he’d been at the hospital with Danny almost the entire time he’d been admitted.  “Everything okay?”

“Do you think you could come to Queen’s?” Steve asked, knowing the desperation and frustration was filling his voice, but at this point, he didn’t give a damn.  “The doctors, they’re talking about surgery, in Danny’s brain, and I don’t...I could use an interpreter.” He gave a small humorless laugh.  “And someone I trust to let me know if they can really do something to help, or it’s all bullshit grasping at straws.”

Noelani, God love her, didn’t hesitate.  “I’m on my way.”

Although, even with Noelani’s assistance, Steve had a hard time following what they wanted to do.  Maybe it was the lack of sleep, maybe he just didn’t understand it, or maybe it was the thought of them cutting into Danny’s head so they could place a chip that would somehow help him distinguish between fantasy and reality scared the living shit out of him.

“The synthetic drugs have damaged the pathway that helps the visual cortex distinguish between external stimulus...what we see in the real world, and internal visions the brain creates,” Noelani explained after listening and asking a whole round of questions herself.   

“We were fortunate that the tests we’ve been running allowed us to locate the exact region of the brain where the damage took place,” Dockery explained.  “It’s small, but plays a critical role in visual perception.”

“So this chip?  It just takes over what the brain was doing before?” Steve asked.

“Not exactly.  It’s more like the chip will aardvark Danny so you don’t have to.” Noelani said.  

Dr. Vance, Dockery’s old advisor, stepped in.  “Detective Williams has been very responsive to you when you disrupt the hallucinations.  His brain knows what he’s seeing isn’t real, it just needs a little jolt to realize that.   The chip will provide that jolt, quite literally, when that portion of the brain is activated.”

“You’re going to electrocute him?”  Steve actually stood, and Dr. Vance took a step back.

“Nothing too severe, just a small current” Dockery assured nervously.  “At most he’ll experience a mild headache, at least as long as he responds to the electrical stimulus of the chip.”

“Think of it kind of like a pacemaker, only it’s in his brain and not his heart,” Noelani offered.

“Or an early warning system,” Dr. Vance added.  “He should still remove himself from the trigger situation when he experiences the headache, but if he does that, he shouldn’t experience the full-blown hallucinations.”

“And the chip, once it’s put in there, that’s it?” Steve asked.  “No more drugs or anything else?”

“We’ll have to see how well he adapts to it,” Dockery admitted.  “If he has constant headaches, then for his own comfort, we’ll probably recommend continuing the drugs to diminish the hallucinations from happening in the first place.”

“And there’s a possibility that he’ll need to have the chip replaced in fifteen to twenty years,” Vance added.

Steve still wasn’t convinced, but not having to worry about Danny hurting himself or someone else would be a huge relief for everyone, and made the case for surgery pretty damn tempting.

Steve sat down once more, scrubbed his face. “Okay, so what are the risks?”

“We are talking about his brain here,” Dockery cautioned.  “So, further or additional damage is always a possibility.”

“Additional damage?  Like what? He could become catatonic?  Not wake up?” Steve demanded.

Dr. Vance stepped in.  “Yes, those are always a risk, but I’m recommending one of the top neurosurgeons in the country.  He’s a specialist in implant surgeries such as these, and he will be the best to answer these questions if you decide to go forward with the surgery.”

“What if we don’t do the surgery?  What are the other options?” Steve asked, trying to cover all bases.

“We’ve been able to narrow down the best medications,” Dockery told him.  “But we would be back to monitoring him regularly.  As you’ve seen before, the effectiveness of the drugs can change over time.”

“So same ol’ same ol’,” Steve sighed.

Dockery nodded.  “I’m afraid so, Commander.”

Steve asked for a day to think it over, then asked Noelani in the hallway, “If you were me, would you agree to the surgery?”

Steve could see the question made her uncomfortable.  “Steve, as a doctor, I’m not sure I should--”

“Not as a doctor, as a friend,” Steve clarified.  “At least help me weed through it all and tell me what I should be considering.”

She, thankfully, relented.  “It’s a new application of something that’s been used to treat other neurological conditions like epilepsy, so the surgery itself is fairly commonplace.  However, as they said, there are always risks related to surgery, especially brain surgery, not to mention the recovery time, with the results unproven at the best.”

“We could go through all of it and still be no better off,” Steve paraphrased.

Noelani nodded.  “But, if it works, the improvement could be significant. They could dramatically improve Danny’s ability to function on his own on a daily basis, give him, and you, some freedom from worrying so much.”

Steve took a deep breath, rubbed at tired eyes, then exhaled heavily.  “Am I a horrible person for hating that he dropped all this on me?  I mean, I get why he did it.   There is no way he can make this decision right now, but... how am I supposed to decide if I just let him continue seeing shit that isn’t there for the rest of his life, or risk losing him forever?”

Noelani’s hand rubbed at his arm.  “Steve, Danny gave you this responsibility because he trusts you, and because you aren’t a horrible person, you’re the best person he knows.  And I believe that because you’re one of the best people I know, too.  I also think he made the right choice in picking you.  If you weren’t the right person for the job, you wouldn’t be putting so much into the decision.   Whatever your choice, it will be the right one for the two of you.”

Steve had thanked her and told Dockery he wanted to see Danny, which was how he found himself handing over his belt and shoes to the orderly as he stepped inside the padded room.

This had been the compromise he had reached with the medical staff not to restrain Danny after he barricaded himself in his hospital room following a particularly bad round of tests when the drugs they administered actually made things worse.  Steve had managed to talk his way into the room, but Danny had gone after the nurse, which should have been grounds for restraint.  Steve convinced them to lock him in one of the padded cells they had instead.

“How you feeling, D?”

Danny looked up from where he sat with his knees pulled up and his back against the wall.  He gave a laugh as he shook his head.  “Goddamn it, just when I thought I had it all figured out, what’s real and what isn’t, you show up again.  Now I know for a fact you aren’t real.”

Steve tried not to let the accusations he’d heard dozens of times get to him.  Instead, he cursed those fucking drug dealers all over again for doing this to Danny, and wanted to go to the prison and beat their heads against a wall repeatedly for doing this to them.

Sitting against the opposite wall, Steve asked, “Want to let me in on these facts you have, Detective Williams?”

Danny made a motion to encompass the entire room.  “Look around.  I’m literally locked up in a padded cell.  I didn’t even know they had one of these at Queen’s, but I know there is no reality where they allow conjugal visits in the loony bin.”

“They made an exception for me,” Steve told him with a smile, the one he knew made Danny want to bang Steve’s head against a wall.

Danny’s eyebrows rose.  “Why?  Because you’re so pretty?”

“Maybe,” Steve conceded.  “More likely because Doc Dockery is scared of me.”

Danny laughed, his red-rimmed eyes closing as he leaned his head back against the padding on the wall.  “Fuck, I’m so glad this isn’t real.  I’m not sure you would survive this if it was.  I know I sure the hell wouldn’t.”

“We’re surviving this, Danny,” Steve told him confidently, defiantly.  “I’m making sure of that like I always do.”

Danny leaned forward, just enough that he could look intently into Steve’s eyes.  “This one’s going to break you, Steven.  One way or another, it’ll break you.  It has to.”

Steve felt a familiar flutter of panic, a flash of memory, a malevolent voice....  _a starved computer panics..._ from the moment right before they put him in the sensory deprivation tank, the moment when he knew they would break him in order to make him talk.

Steve shook his head, to clear it of that foggy recollection, and in denial of Danny’s warning.  “The doctors have an idea.  They think they can make this all stop, Danny.”

Danny leaned back and snorted in disbelief.  “Oh, yeah?  How’s that?   They invent a time machine to go back before I entered that damn factory?”

“Sort of.  They have a chip.”

“A chip.” Danny jutted his chin in contemplation of that bit of intentionally vague information.  “Like a potato chip? Because, as you know, I’m quite fond of potato chips.  Maui onion kettle chips are one of the few worthwhile contributions to junk food to come off these stupid islands.  Or is it more like a dog tracking chip?  Because those, while great for Eddie, are not something I’m interested in for myself personally.”

“Like a... brain chip,” Steve mumbled.

“Brain...a brain chip, as in a chip...” Danny mimed holding a tiny something between his fingers.

“Yes, a chip,” Steve confirmed.

“That goes in my brain.”  Danny tapped at his head.

“Not exactly there in your brain,” Steve corrected. “A little lower.”

“Is the different location supposed to make me feel better?”

“No,” Steve admitted, “but the chip itself might.”

“A chip,” Danny repeated, “in my brain.  Like something out of  _X-Files_.  What’s next an alien probe?”

Steve shrugged.  “Well, you’ve never complained about anal probing in the past.”

Danny started snickering.  “Fuck you, McGarrett.”

“Sorry, I’m not the one they want to put a chip in.”

“No, but you have to decide if you’re going to let them do that to me.”  Danny still wore a smile, but it was less amused and more sympathetic, almost pitying.

Steve couldn’t stand the look of that smile, so he stared at his hands instead, stared at the two rings stacked on the ring finger of his left hand since they wouldn’t let Danny wear his.  He glanced up to see Danny staring at the same.

“Do you remember when we first met?”

“My garage,” Steve answered automatically, kind of felt the world settle a little bit with the familiarity of that question.

Danny, however, veered off the normal script.  “Did you know that almost didn’t happen?”

Steve’s brow furrowed in confusion, so Danny continued.

“I was running late that morning, didn’t have time to make coffee... the stupid sofa bed mattress kept me...anyway, I was late, so I figured I’d just stop and grab some coffee, which I did.  No problem. Now I’ve got my coffee, got my crime scene to visit, life is good.  That is until I get on that Godforsaken Punchbowl and get stuck in traffic for like an hour.  It was insane...some multi-car pileup, firetrucks, ambulances, flight for life landing on the road...the whole mess.  I had planned to be at your dad’s house over an hour earlier than I was.  I should have been there and gone by the time you showed up.”

Steve had never had an anxiety attack, but he felt like he might be starting to have one now.  His chest was tight, he felt his throat restricting so that it was hard to breath.

Danny leaned his head back and looked at the ceiling.  “If I’d left the house when I planned, skipped the stop at the coffee shop, you and me, we would have never met.  We’d never have pulled our guns on each other, you’d never have conscripted me onto the task force.  Hell, you probably wouldn’t have even formed the task force.  You’d still be off taking out terrorist for the Navy, or settled down with Catherine with a couple of kids, like Joe told you to do.  And me?  I probably would have lost custody of Grace, followed Rachel and Stan to Vegas, and been a beat cop there.  And Charlie, well, he probably wouldn’t exist at all.”

“Danny...”  Steve choked out, a plea for him to stop talking, stop making Steve feel so off balance.

Danny huffed a laugh and turned his eyes back to Steve.  “If not for one stupid cup of coffee, you’d be completely off the hook from this entire clusterfuck.”

“This clusterfuck is our life.”  Steve concentrated on not letting his voice crack. “You listen to me carefully, because I don’t want to ever have to say this to you again. I don’t want off the hook from our life together.  All the tests, the medical decisions, they’re nothing as long as I have you and the kids.   But a world where Charlie doesn’t even exist?  Where Grace is living in Vegas? Where you...” Steve pulled in a ragged breath.  “...you aren’t in my life?  That’s what would break me.”

Danny studied him for a few seconds before reaching out a beckoning hand.  “Come here, you goof.”

Steve moved eagerly, desperately, only to have Danny stop him with a hand on his shoulder before he made it all the way into Danny’s arms.  Steve watched as Danny twirled his wrist, a motion Steve had learned meant his tattoos were entwined on Danny’s hand and forearms.

“You know they don’t like being in the water,” Danny chastised, lifting his hand above his head.

Steve settled in shoulder to shoulder with Danny, resigned to the fact that Danny had once again slipped deeper into hallucination.  But he was here, not in Vegas, and he was Steve’s, full stop.  Nothing was ever going to change that.  “So, the water’s back?”

“Babe, it never leaves,” Danny informed him.  “It’s all around.  Always.  You’ve been fully immersed this entire time.”

Well, Steve thought, that would explain why he felt like he was drowning at the moment.

Danny was back to watching his hands again. “Think they can stay and keep me company for a little bit?”

“They aren’t going anywhere,” Steve promised, kissing Danny’s temple before moving to pillow his head in Danny’s lap.  “And neither am I.”

 ~H50~H50~H50~H50~H50~

In the end, Steve decided to let them do the surgery, and it was, hands down, the worst experience of his life.  Danny came through the surgery just fine, the surgeon assured Steve, but as was often the case with brain surgery, there was some minor swelling.  Nothing to be alarmed about, but given Danny’s history of hallucinations, and until they could be sure the chip was doing its job, they were going to keep Danny in a medically induced coma for a day or so, just to be on the safe side, to allow the swelling to come down.  It wouldn’t be good if Danny woke up disoriented, and tried to climb out of bed with his brain still healing.

Steve was wiped out at that point, emotionally and physically, after spending the night before second guessing his decision instead of sleeping, then spending five hours in the waiting room while they performed the procedure. 

He forced his mouth to form the words, “Okay.  When can I see him?”  When all that he wanted to do was scream, ‘I fucked up, I fucked up, holy fucking shit did I fuck up!’

He heard something about getting Danny settled in his room in ICU, but it was hard to hear anything over the blood pounding in his ears and the mantra his own self-doubt had set up in his head.

“Steve,” Junior’s hand landed on his shoulder and jarred him back to the family waiting room his extended o’hana had overtaken.  “It’s going to be at least an hour before they let you see him.  Why don’t you lay down and catch a quick nap?”

He looked over to see Tani and Eric had stood from their seats to make room for just that purpose. He also guessed Junior had drawn the short straw to be the one to suggest he sleep. “I’m good,” he dismissed with a shake of his head.

“With all due respect, no, sir, you’re not,” Junior told him earnestly.  “And you know as well as I do, you’re going to need your head on straight for the next few days.  We’ll wake you when they’re ready.”

Steve scratched at the stubble on his jaw and reluctantly nodded, falling back on his training that engrained the ideas of sleeping and eating when you could because you never knew when the shit was going to hit the fan.  “Yeah, okay.”  He eased onto the sofa, feeling ridiculously old the way his muscles ached just from sitting.  He swung his legs up so that they were hanging over the arm of the small couch and into the chair beside it, then he worked through the techniques he’d learned as a new recruit, relaxing each muscle group and visualizing calmly floating in a canoe.  Soon the only thing filling his head was ‘don’t think, don’t think, don’t think’.

It seemed like it was only a few minutes before Lou patted his knee.  “Steve, they’re ready for you.”  Checking his watch, Steve saw it had been over an hour and a half.  He also saw the ICU nurse who was ready to walk him back, and he stood, instantly alert.

Lou’s large hand squeezed the back of his neck.  “Listen, you need anything,  _anything,_  you call us.”

“Thanks, Lou.”  On his way out, Steve stopped to give Grace a hug.  Rachel had agreed it would be best to keep Charlie home, but Grace had insisted on being there.  “As soon as he’s awake, I’ll make sure you can see him. Okay?”

“Tell him I love him,” she said into Steve’s shoulder, hugging him extra tight. “Charlie, too.”

“He knows, sweetheart,” Steve assured as he pulled back, then grinned. “But he likes to hear it, so I’ll tell him again.”  He looked over to Eric.  “You’ll make sure she gets home alright?”

Eric stepped up behind his cousin.  “Sure thing.  Just...let us know what’s going on.”

“Of course, kid,” Steve promised with a pat to his shoulder.  “Your grandma would eat me alive if I didn’t.”

Steve followed the nurse out of the waiting room, listening as she told him what to expect.   “Detective Williams is on a respirator, it can be disturbing to see, but it’s fairly standard after this sort of surgery, so try not to be concerned about it.  They might be able to take him off that by this evening.”  She continued to tell him about the various monitors they had Danny hooked to, the bandaging, the bruising Steve would probably see.

Even with all the preparation, Steve huffed out a ragged breath when he saw Danny pale and way too still, propped up in the bed to ease the pressure and swelling in his skull.  Steve realized he’d stopped in his tracks in the doorway and was back to repeating, ‘don’t think, don’t think, don’t think,’ to himself when he felt the nurse’s hand on his lower back.  

“The chair converts to a cot, when you want to sleep,” she told him as she ushered him over to where it sat beside Danny’s bed.  “And I expect you to sleep.  Get used to seeing me; I’m his nurse, and only his nurse, for the next eight hours.  I’ll introduce you to my relief when she come in tonight, then I’ll be back again in the morning.”

Sitting gingerly in the chair, as if he might touch the wrong thing and make it even worse, Steve asked, “And he doesn’t know what’s going on?”  Steve honestly wasn’t sure if he hoped the answer was yes or no.

“He’s not in any pain,” she assured.  “But I’ve worked with a lot of head trauma patients, and I’m convinced they are aware of loved ones in the room.  You can talk to him, hold his hand; it will help.  Both of you,” she added with a patient smile.

Steve hesitantly took Danny’s hand, watching the heart monitor carefully to ensure he didn’t do anything to disturb the unconscious man.  Danny’s heart kept up its steady rhythm, as did the mechanical pump currently breathing for him.

_Don’t think, don’t think, don’t think..._

Steve took Danny’s ring from his finger and slid it back into place on Danny’s hand, feeling a phantom of the giddy rush he’d experienced when he did it the first time in the judge’s chambers.  It may have been a quickie ceremony squeezed in between cases on the judge’s docket, but Steve didn’t think it could have been any more perfect if it had been a formal black-tie affair.  

Even when Judge Parker warned, “We need to make this snappy; I’ve got three hookers and a banker waiting to be arraigned in ten minutes.”

Danny’s eyebrows rose.  “Separate cases?”

“I wish,” Parker told them with a roll of her eyes.

Grace, who had served as maid of honor, had snickered, when Charlie, their best man, asked, “What’s a hooker?”

The judge, realizing too late what she’d just said in front of a young child, gave her best smile. “Maybe you should ask one of your dads that question.”

Steve didn’t know if he should glare at her for passing the buck, or smile like an idiot for referring to Steve as one of Charlie’s dads.  

The eye roll from Danny said the goofy smile had won out.  “Seriously, babe, you’re hopeless.”  He’d then bent to be more on a level with Charlie.  “A hooker is a very friendly lady.”

“So, like the judge,” Charlie concluded, beaming with pride at his own reasoning skills.

Danny coughed to cover the laugh that burst out at the very incorrect observation.  Judge Parker was staring wide-eyed, her mouth opening then closing repeatedly.

“Uhm, a little friendlier than that,” Steve stepped in.  “Friendly in a way that’s against the law.”

“You can be too friendly?” Charlie’s face screwed up in confusion.

“You know what?” Gracie thankfully spoke up.  “We can talk about it later.  Judge Parker is in a hurry.  Remember?”

And that, had put an end to that discussion.  It had also been the rather appropriate icing on the cake of the best day of Steve’s life.

Here he was now in the middle of one of the worst.

He squeezed Danny’s limp hand. “Hey, I know you need to rest up a little more, but could you do me a favor and be quick about it?  I really don’t know how much more of this I can take.”

Danny, the contrary piece of shit that he was, had other ideas.

He refused to breath on his own when they tried to take him off the respiratory later that night.  In fact, it took them another day and a half before he did start breathing on his own again for more than a few minutes at a time.  After three days, the swelling in his brain was down enough that they took him off the drugs keeping him under, but he didn’t wake up.  He didn’t wake up the next day either.

The doctors told Steve this wasn’t unheard of, that sometimes it took a little while for the brain to decide it was healed enough to wake.

“And sometimes it never wakes up.  Right?” Steve had demanded after yet another useless visit from the doctors, who obviously didn’t know jackshit as to why Danny was still fucking asleep.  “He may never wake up again.”

“We’re not ready to give up,” the surgeon told him, “But at this point, it’s up to him.”

Steve, however, couldn’t say the same.  He was ready to give up, because Danny loved him; Steve knew the truth of that cold, hard fact, felt it in his bones.  Danny loved him, and would do everything possible to come back to Steve if he could.  So, the only reason Steve could come up with for why he  _hadn’t_  come back yet was that he  _couldn’t_.

Stepping back into Danny’s hospital room, Steve found that he couldn’t make himself return to the chair by the bed.  Instead, he leaned against the wall, and just stared at the unmoving form in the bed, feeling his worry and fear and frustration turning to anger the longer he stood there.

“You should have been paying more attention,” Steve accused.  “That shooter never should have caught you off guard like that.  You should have taken him down first, or taken cover somewhere other than behind a stack of drugs that were killing people.” He took two steps forward, waving an arm at the imaginary stores of drugs.  “That stuff was fucking poison and you knew that going in.  You  _knew_ it, knew what it could do to you...what it  _did_ to you.  How could you be so careless, so goddamn stupid?  And now look at you, look what you did to yourself.  Are you happy?  Huh?” Steve shook his head in disbelief that Danny would put himself in this situation, put  _all_  of them in it.  “And let me tell you something, you didn’t just fuck up your own life, you fucked it up for Grace and Charlie, for me.  God, how can you be so selfish?  Leaving us alone like this.  How are we... am I...?”

Steve scrubbed at his face, felt his hands come away wet and stepped back to the wall, banging his head back against the drywall trying to find something, anything that was stable in the world.  “Goddamn you, Danny.”  He slid down to the floor, tried his best to concentrate on the wall at his back, the cold linoleum beneath him, and still felt the world crumbling away around him, felt Danny’s imaginary waters engulf him, and felt himself break into a million pieces, so that every part of him, every secret he’d buried deep down in his soul, was laid bare.

Eventually he slept, dreamt of Wo Fat, of barely remembered torture that he’d managed to resist in the past, but this time he welcomed it, felt he somehow deserved it.

He woke to the sound of alarms, of the nurse saying, “Detective Williams, do you know where you are?”, of a voice raspy from disuse asking, “Steve?”

“Here, Danny.” Steve felt a rush of adrenaline, a need to fight, fight for what was his as he sprung to his feet and closed the short distance to Danny’s bed.  “I’m here.”

Danny’s eyes were little more than slivers, but they were clear, and blue, and seeing Steve, really seeing him.  ”How’s my hair?” Danny asked in barely legible mumble.  “Worse than yours?”

Steve choked out a thick laugh.  “Afraid so, buddy. But it’ll grow back.”

“S’what said ‘bout yours.  Still waiting.”

Steve laughed again, then he leaned in and was laughing against Danny’s lips.  Danny’s kiss in return was weak but real, and Steve found himself pressing his forehead into Danny’s collarbone, wiping his streaming eyes and running nose on Danny’s hospital gown.

“Ah, geez, babe, that’s disgusting.”  

But Danny’s hand flopped heavily onto Steve’s back, and for the first time in days, Steve felt that solid weight he’d been desperately searching for to anchor him in place.

“Thank you.  Thank you, Danny, thank you,” because Steve genuinely felt like Danny had saved his life just by waking up.

“Y’did good, Steven,” Danny said quietly at Steve’s ear. “Did what needed to do.”

For the first time in what felt like forever, Steve could believe that was true.


	4. Chapter 4

After that, Danny’s recovery went smooth, remarkably so.  The chip worked, as well. Although, the headaches happened often enough that he still needed drugs, and occasionally a hallucination slipped through, but it was only three or four times a year, not a week.  Still, Danny didn’t want to carry a gun.  Steve thought it had to do with a guy he’d known on the force back in Jersey who had a similar experience to Danny during a drug bust.  Only he’d gone home from the hospital thinking everything was fine and ended up killing his wife then himself when he realized what he had done.  Danny did, however, agree to stay on the task force.  Steve liked to think it was because he still enjoyed the work.  Deep down, Steve believed Danny wanted Steve to keep an eye on him.  Danny, however, would say, rather loudly at times, it was because someone needed to keep an eye on Steve, and none of the others seemed capable of telling Steve he was an idiot to his face.  

Eventually, Steve realized it was a little of both. 

Danny paced a few steps as he watched Steve strap on his vest behind the open trunk of the Camaro, finally working up the courage to say what he was obviously thinking.  “You don’t have to be the one to go in there.” 

“Danny, if Marconni makes it to that helicopter, we’re going to lose him,” Steve justified. 

Danny nodded and wobbled his head.  “Today. We might lose him today.  Or, Junior and Tani might catch him before he flies away.”  Danny’s hand mimicked a helicopter’s wobbly ascent. 

“Or I could,” Steve amended, pushing his sidearm into his holster. 

“Listen, how long have I known you?” 

Steve rolled his eyes.  “About sixteen years.” 

“And how long we been married?” 

With a sigh, Steve said, “Seven years next month.” 

“Sixteen years as your partner, seven blissful years as your lawfully wedded spouse--” 

“Let me tell you, right now is not one of the most blissful moments of our marriage,” Steve pointed out, clipping his rifle into place. 

Danny, of course, ignored him.  “After all this time, you don’t think I know exactly what is going to happen here?” 

“We’re going to catch the bad guys?” Steve supplied. 

“You’re going to  _chase_  the bad guys.  Run up several flights of stairs, shoot some cronies along the way, maybe jump from building to building.”  Danny’s hand soared out over the imaginary space between said buildings.   “Then, when you reach the helicopter, you’re going to jump on the bar-thingies--” 

“The landing skids,” Steve corrected when Danny’s fingers fluttered.   

“Yes, of course, the landing skids.  My mistake.” Steve had led missions in deserts that weren’t as dry as Danny’s tone.  

“I’m just saying, after sixteen years and as many choppers that we’ve been in, you’d think you could remember something like that.” 

“Oh, I’m sorry, I must have been too preoccupied with you acting like a maniac every time we get in one to learn the names of all the parts.”  Danny leaned forward, hands in his pockets, and continued his rant.  “You’ll jump on the  _landing skids_ , dangling from your armpits as it’s taking off, then you’ll climb in and toss the pilot out so you can fly it, while the other cronies try to shoot you from inside before you disarm them, sending the helicopter into a freefall, alarms blaring, then stabilize it at the last second to land it.” 

“And your point is?” Steve asked. 

“My point is, Steven, what if this time the cronies shoot you instead?  What if you don’t make the leap across the building?”  

Steve frowned in annoyance. “Thanks for the vote of confidence, buddy.”  

Danny, however, wasn’t done with his dire predictions.  “What if you’re the one who freefalls from a couple hundred feet up off the  _landing skids_?” 

Over the years, Steve had grown used to Danny’s fatalistic view of pretty much everything they did.  He knew it all came from a place of love, but sometimes, like now, Steve really didn’t have time for it. 

“Danny...” he sighed in frustration, preparing to launch into all the reasons that wasn’t going to happen. 

“Who’s going to aardvark me then?” 

All Steve’s reassurances died on his lips. 

“Huh, Steve?   Who’s going to be the one to stop me from losing my shit and doing something on your level of stupid?  Charlie?  You want to dump that kind of responsibility on a kid in high school?  Or maybe Grace will come back from Paris for your funeral and just stay here to keep an eye on me instead of finishing that ridiculously expensive culinary school we’ve been paying for.” 

Steve couldn’t come up with an answer to counter Danny’s suggestions. 

Danny stepped in close, patted at the tact vest.  “I know you’ve been living under this fantasy that you get to be the first to die, just like I’ve been living with the fear of it since the day we met.  But you don’t get that luxury anymore, babe.  You have to outlive me.  I get to go first.” 

Steve just frowned harder, because Danny was right, he couldn’t leave Grace and Charlie to pick up the pieces if something happened to him.  

“Is that why you say I can’t die in your arms?” Steve asked, trying his best not to think about it the other way around. 

“That, and it’s morbid as hell,” Danny told him with a scrunch of his nose. 

Behind him, Junior called, “Steve.” 

Steve turned, ignoring the way Danny’s forehead crinkled in worry that Steve was still going in, that he hadn’t got the message. “Yeah, Junes, where we stand?” 

“Jerry was able to tap into the video feed.  We have eyes on Marconni.  Helicopter is inbound, ETA three minutes.  I’ve had SWAT take up the perimeter, assault team is set to deploy.”   

Tani tapped her earpiece.  “Hold position until we give the signal.”  She glanced up at Steve as she checked her rifle.  “HPD has all major intersections covered.  Give the word, boss, and we’re ready to rock and roll.” 

It suddenly dawned on Steve that Junior and Tani weren’t just great teammates, they were great team leads.  He and Danny and Lou had been teaching them everything they knew for all these years, and the two had not only learned, they’d excelled.  If for whatever reason Steve didn’t come back from the raid today, those two would be fine, the task force would be in good hands.  He couldn’t say the same for Danny.  Steve always knew Tani and Junior were the future of Five-0, but Danny was always the future for Steve. Always.  Even before the drug exposure. 

“Good work, both of you,” Steve acknowledged.  “Junior, you’re taking the lead on the breach.  Tani, you’re in charge of the tactical support teams.  That helicopter doesn’t leave that roof.  Understand?  I’ll be standing by with the secondary team to pursue, if necessary.” 

The two younger team members both stood staring in stunned silence for a second, before a smile spread on both their faces as they realized that Steve had just handed them the reigns. 

“Yes, sir, Commander,” Junior promised.  “Alpha team, on me,” he ordered, as he and Tani turned toward the building. 

Danny’s hand slipped up under Steve’s vest to rest on his lower back.  “They grow up so fast.” 

“Yeah, but they’re ready,” Steve admitted as he watched them jog across the parking lot. 

“I was talking about you,” Danny told him with a smart-ass grin. 

“I’m still going in if they need me,” Steve grumped. 

Danny’s hand moved lower and gave a smack to Steve’s ass.  “The first step is always admitting you have a problem, babe.” 

“I don’t have a problem,” Steve snapped, “other than you being a mother hen.” 

Although Steve had to admit, maybe Danny had a point.  Not just about Danny needing him more than Five-0, but that maybe it was time to step back a little bit, move more into command and out of the field.  He’d stayed in the thick of it longer than most people his age.  If he’d stayed in the Navy, he’d be either training SEALs or deploying them from afar by now.  Plus, he couldn’t deny his knees weren’t looking forward to climbing a dozen flights of stairs.  He’d been rough on his body, as Danny had pointed out over the years as he applied bandages and antibiotic ointment to cuts, and rubbed tiger balm into sore, bruised, muscles. Then he’d taken his time showing Steve what he should be doing with his body instead, much nicer, toe-curling things that left his body feeling a hell of a lot better in the end than a foot pursuit. 

Even Lou planned to hang it up, for good this time, by the end of the year.  So maybe Steve could step back a little, and let Tani and Junior step up and take the lead more often. 

Not that he left the field entirely, especially if he was need, and definitely not when it involved family.  Hell, he couldn’t even keep Danny on the sidelines when that happened. 

“Maybe you should just let me handle this,” Steve offered once again.  Knew it was hopeless, but he had to at least try. 

“That is my  _son_ in there,” Danny told him, as if that was all the proof Steve needed. 

And it was. 

Steve simply handed over the Glock they kept in the glovebox.  “Vests are in the trunk.” 

They’d got the word less than fifteen minutes earlier.  Steve and Danny were on the lunch run when Tani had called. 

“Charlie’s missing,” she had told them with little preamble.  “He was out with his training officer eating lunch, and they were ambushed.  His TO was shot, and Charlie took off in pursuit on foot, and now they can’t reach him.” 

Steve glanced over at Danny, saw the same gut punch fear on his face that he was sure was on his own.  “Where were they?” 

“Makai Market,” she told them. 

Steve was already turning the car around in the middle of the intersection, completely ignoring the blaring horns and the speed limit. 

“There’s a lot of cameras around Ala Moana,” Tani supplied, “We’re going through the feeds now to see what we can find.” 

Danny, however, had his phone out and the tracking app open. 

“We may have another way to located him,” Steve said, “as long as he has his keys.” 

When Charlie was sixteen, he went through a bit of a rebellious stage...drinking, some minor drug use, typical teen stuff...but Danny just about lost his mind worrying over the kid.  Steve had tagged along to drag Charlie home from more than one drunken party, at which point Charlie got sneaky and disabled the GPS on his phone.  Danny threatened to chip him like a dog, claiming the chip in  _his_  brain was going to explode if they didn’t.  Steve, however, had another idea.   

Steve and Charlie had always had a special bond.  Not that he and Gracie didn’t, but Grace loved Danny something fierce, loved him for moving to be with her, and was a solid daddy’s girl by the time she and Steve met.   While Steve had spent a ton of time with her when she was growing up, Grace was already a little older and more independent, much to Danny’s consternation, by the time Steve became a permanent fixture in her life.  Charlie, however, was younger when he’d entered the picture.  Ironically, as much as Steve hated how much time Danny had lost with the boy thanks to Rachel’s lies, Steve was thrilled with how many more years he’d gained in Charlie’s childhood as compared with Grace.    

All that had led to Charlie looking up to Steve in a way that had alluded Danny during those turbulent teen years. Steve and Danny had had more than one argument over Steve getting to be fun Uncle Steve while Danny was the one to lay down the law.  Steve, reasoned it was a good cop/ bad cop play, and as long as he was talking to one of them, they should take it as win.  More than that, he knew what it was like to be a petulant teenager, remembered how he’d never wanted to listen to anybody after his dad had sent him away saying it was the best thing for Steve.  He also knew from experience, Charlie was blind to what the best thing was, especially if it came from his father.   

So, Steve had sat Charlie down and had a heart to heart with him about responsibility and pride in oneself and learning hard lessons.  He also gave Charlie a keychain made from a bullet casing and told the teen it was from the bullet that had nearly killed him when he was on a mission.  Although the details were classified so he couldn’t talk about them, suffice to say he’d done something stupid and reckless that nearly got him and his team killed.  That bullet served as a reminder of how important his choices, his responsibilities to himself and others were.  Charlie took the keychain and was almost never without it from that day forward. 

Steve had come out of Charlie’s bedroom after the talk to find Danny waiting for him.  “Did he buy it?” 

Steve nodded, “I think so.  If nothing else we can track his punk ass with the GPS chip I put in the keychain.”  The casing he’d picked up off the shooting range the week before. 

Danny gave him a first bump. No one did good cop /bad cop like Steve and Danny.  

To this day, Charlie had no idea how he and Danny had been able to find him when he was out doing things he shouldn’t after curfew. Eventually, Charlie had come out of that sullen teen stage and become a genuinely good and decent young man.  He’d finished college and joined the police force, just like his dad, and had graduated from the academy less than six months ago. 

“Got him,” Danny exclaimed, rattling off the address so that Tani could hear as well. 

“Back up is on the way,” she promised. 

Steve just flipped on the siren and floored it.  They were the first to reach the abandoned amusement complex.  At one time it had housed an arcade, laser tag, and go cart tracks.  Steve remembered bringing Charlie to a birthday party here once years ago.  The business, now covered with a neon rainbow of graffiti, had gone under over a year before and had yet to sell.  By the techno music blaring inside, someone hadn’t got that memo. 

Neither he nor Danny recommended waiting for backup, but Steve made sure to take point.  The music was even louder inside the building, and from the sound of it, it was coming for the old laser tag room.  They made their way through the dark briefing room and down the hallway leading into the arena.  The flash of a strobe light bleeding out under the door had Steve looking back at Danny in worry. 

Danny’s face was screwed in a familiar wince.  The good news was the chip was working, the bad news was the headache could be as debilitating as the hallucinations if he stuck with it too long, or the hallucinations would eventually leak past the disruption caused by the chip. 

“Go,” Danny ordered tensely, dropping a hand on Steve’s shoulder and closing his eyes, but not even offering to stay behind. 

Steve hoped like hell that would be enough, making a mental note to take out the lights as soon as possible.  Rounding another corner, the music got impossibly louder, the thumbing bass reverberating in his chest harder than his heart at what they might find.   There was only one thing that could make Steve worry more than the thought of losing Danny, and it was the thought of losing Charlie, Grace, and of course, now, baby Clara. 

Steve and Lou had always been competitive, in general, and with each other, especially.  Now that they shared a six-month-old granddaughter, they were in an all-out war to win her affections.  And yet, somehow, while he and Lou had been building swing sets and sandboxes to be crowned High King Grandpa of the world, Danny had quietly slipped in and become her favorite.  Clara flapped her arms so hard in excitement whenever she saw Danny, Steve thought she might take flight.  Steve was convinced Danny was also slipping her ice cream when Grace and Will weren’t looking; there was no way that baby girl was that enamored with sucking on Danny’s pinky no matter how much he claimed it was because she was teething. 

There was also no way Steve was going to let Clara grow up without her Uncle Charlie in her life. 

Steve caught a flash of movement in between the flickering of the strobe.  Whatever it was, it was large and seemed to be writhing around another something large...another two somethings.  He eased his way forward, gun in front of him, until he reached a pillar used for cover in the laser tag game, then stopped short when he got a better view. 

“What the fuck?” Steve exclaimed at the sight. 

“Aardvark, Steve, aardvark,” Danny was saying frantically at his ear.  “Oh, fuck me, aardvark.” 

“Actually, I think it’s a sea turtle and a monk seal trying to fuck a nene,” Steve corrected. 

“You see it, too?” Danny demanded in shock. 

“Unfortunately.”  Then he realized Danny may not be seeing exactly what he was.  “They’re in costumes, Danny.  Like high school mascots costumes.” Steve vaguely recalled Charlie mentioning they’d responded to reported break ins at five different high schools this week. 

Danny rubbed at his forehead, which was never a good sign.  “Jesus, do you see Charlie? That fucking turtle is bringing the water in, and we don’t have a lot of time.”  

Apparently, Danny was seeing something a little more lifelike than people dressed in fake fur and pleather. 

“Hold on,” Steve urged, deciding he needed to kill the lights and music, because he couldn’t see or hear shit, never mind what it was doing to Danny. 

With two shots, Steve took them both out, dropping the room into totally darkness other than the flashlights they carried.  “On the floor!” Steve ordered.  “Five-0!  On the floor, hands...flippers and wings behind your backs, now!” 

That’s when the nene raised a wing and fired with the gun Steve hadn’t seen within the fabric of the costume, followed by more gunfire from the turtle and seal. 

“Shit!” Steve cursed, pushing Danny back behind the post.  Then a louder, “SHIT!” when Danny made a break into the darkness before Steve could stop him. 

He knew this was a bad idea to let Danny come in here, knew they should have waited for backup, but he also knew there was no way in hell he was keeping Danny out when Charlie was inside, because there was no way in hell Steve was staying outside for the exact same reason. 

“Danny!” Steve yelled over the gunfire, that went suddenly quiet when their assailants ran out of bullets. 

Steve stood again, eased around the post to see the three animals looking at their guns, one actually shook his to try to make it work again.  Okay, definitely not professionals he was dealing with. 

“Drop your weapons!” Steve then called again, “Danny!” 

“I found him,” Danny thankfully answered back.  “We need an ambulance.” 

Steve was already puling his phone from his pocket and dialing it in.  “I said drop you’re weapons and kneel on the floor.” When they just stood staring with dead plastic eyes, he threatened, “I already want to shoot you, don’t give me another reason.” 

Apparently, they could see Steve was not fucking around, and they did as they were told while he reported to dispatch, “This is McGarrett from Five-0.  We have an officer down,” and Christ, he never, in his worst nightmares, thought he’d be calling that in on Charlie. 

“How is he?” Steve asked tensely once he’d put his phone away, shining his light to see Danny crouched over a still body on the floor.  “Danny, how is he?” 

“They’ve beat him pretty bad,” Danny said, “but he’s breathing.” 

Turning back to the three perps, Steve demanded, “Take those stupid things off.”  He gave the turtle a sharp kick in the back as soon as the head was off.  “Face down on the floor, all of you.” 

They were all practically kids, maybe a few years younger than Charlie, and obviously all higher than kites on something.  Kids who had shot one cop and beat another into unconsciousness. Outside, Steve could hear sirens.  “Do not move,” he warned the three on the ground.  “I don’t want to see you so much as twitch.  I’m going to go over there to check on the police officer you attacked, and based on what I see, I’m going to decide if I’m going to kill you or just beat the ever-living shit out of you. Do you understand?”  When he got a few dazed nods, Steve moved quickly to Danny’s side. 

“Jesus,” he swore to see the swelling and bruising already forming on Charlie’s face. 

Danny grabbed Steve’s arm and squeezed desperately tight.  “Steve, we need to move him. The water’s rising too fast.” 

Steve felt a new dread building; Danny hadn’t had visions of water since he’d had the surgery.  

“It’s okay, Danny; the ambulance will be here any minute.  Just look at me and breath, okay?  In....out. Good, just like that, keep it up.”  This place was going to be overflowing with cops soon, and Steve wanted Danny as settled as possible...as settle as he could be with their son lying beaten on the floor. 

Jesus, Steve wanted to shoot those sons of bitches right the fuck now. 

“Steve? Danny?” Tani’s voice called from the lobby. 

“In here!” Steve yelled, then turned back when Danny squeezed his arm again to see Charlie’s eye flutter open. 

“Danno?” Charlie croaked out weakly, although the surprise was evident in his voice. 

“That’s Detective Williams to you, rookie,” Steve said with a comforting grin over Danny’s shoulder when Danny just pulled in a ragged breath to see Charlie awake. 

Danny had always been very clear that if Charlie wanted to be a cop, he did it on his merits, not Steve’s, and not his dad’s.  He’d made Eric call him detective instead of Uncle D for years to engrain that into him, and he did the same with Charlie. 

“Uncle Steve.” Charlie practically exhaled the name, and Steve could see him relax, like he knew everything was going to be okay now that they were there. “Sorry...I mean, Commander.” 

Now Steve found it a little hard to speak.  Danny reached up one hand to take Steve’s that was gripping Danny’s shoulder in pure relief, and rested the other on Charlie’s chest to keep him still. 

“At ease, kiddo,” Steve chastised gently. “We’ll let it slide this time.” 

The relief, however, was short lived given the way Danny stood abruptly, looking around anxiously. “Steve, the water… the water!” 

Steve rose to his feet, gripping Danny’s arms. “Danny, listen to me; there’s no water.” 

Grabbing Steve by the front of his vest, Danny shook him hard. “Steve you need to wake up! You’re going to drown! Wake up, Steve, wake up!” 

Steve looked down, saw the water rising above his ankles, felt Danny push him hard, then the crash of broken glass as he went through a window…  

“Grandpa Steve, wake up.” 

Steve jolted awake, blinking in disorientation as he glanced around the hospital room, before they settled on the young man squatted in front of him. “Jack? When did you get here?” 

“My flight got in about an hour ago. Uncle Akamu picked me up. He said to tell you he’s bringing Uncle Junior and Auntie Tani by a little later.” 

Steve nodded in understanding, trying to clear away the dream...or was it memory?  Hell, at his age, sometimes it was hard to tell one from the other.  He settled instead on what his grandson was saying, which wasn't any more of a comfort, although it was meant to be. Everyone was getting in a last visit.  

Pushing that thought off, he ordered, “Well, stand up. Let me get a look at you.” He patted at his namesake's hand on his knee. 

Well, his and Danny’s namesake. Steve had been thrilled when Charlie and Miki had told them they planned to call their youngest Jack. Besides, five grandkids in, it was about damn time. 

Even Joe White, who had moved back to the island and become a permanent fixture in Steve and Danny’s family, got the nod first.  Danny’s clandestine snacks couldn’t compete with Joe becoming Clara’s favorite tea party guest.  Steve thought he’d never get used to seeing the man who had driven him through hell week sipping pretend tea while wearing a tiara with a three-year-old.  Clara, however, adored the man, insisting on calling her baby brother Joe from the time she felt the first kick in Gracie’s belly.  After first, no one took it too seriously; Clara had already named two teddy bears and a Barbie Joe.  Eventually, though, everyone else was referring to the unborn baby as Joe, as well, so no one was surprised when the name eventually appeared on the birth certificate. 

Joe had simply smiled that knowing smile of his that showed he was always two steps ahead of everyone else, and quoted something about winning the war before ever taking the field from  _The Art of War._  

“Jack Williams, I like the sound of that,” Steve had beamed with pride at the news. 

“ _Daniel_  Jack Williams,” Danny had stressed. 

“But we’re calling him Jack,” Charlie reiterated, flashing Danny a look that was an exact replica of one Steve had seen from Rachel many times over the years when she'd had quite enough from her ex-husband.  

Steve had frowned, not even trying to hide his annoyance. “Wait, why not use Jack as the first name then?” 

Charlie had rolled his eyes in unison with Danny. Yeah, there was no denying he was Danny's kid as much as Rachel's, especially when he said, “You want we should name your grandson Jack Daniel?” 

Daniel Jack it was. 

Steve eased out of the plastic chair and looked the young man up and down. “So how’s Annapolis treating you?” 

Jack stood a little straighter, the parade ground review stance in contrast to the jeans and t-shirt he wore. “Very well, sir.” 

“You made a decision on which medical school yet?” 

"Johns Hopkins is my first choice, sir, if they'll have me." 

Steve grinned at the cadet spit-shine of his answers and pulled the boy into a hug.  "They’re crazy if they don't." 

Jack may have followed Steve’s path into the Navy, but he’d decided to take after his mom and Grandpa Max and go into medicine instead of law enforcement.  His older brother, Keigo, had just graduated from the police academy two years before, with aspirations of eventually joining Five-0.  Although Steve couldn't image Kei working for his dad, who had taken over running the task force when Tani and Junior retired.   Steve and Danny had finally come clean about the tracker in the bullet casing with Charlie that day in the amusement center; Kei carried that keychain now. Given the boys own rocky teen years, Steve thought he was probably as oblivious to its true purpose as Charlie had been all that time. 

Clara, however, had made detective a year ago… and found out a month later she was pregnant with Louisa, their first great-grandchild. Although Steve had a sneaking suspicion Grace was going to be a grandmother a second time in the near future, given how poor Kami looked a little green around the gills, and the way Joe, Grace's middle child, looked a little shell-shocked every time his wife vanished into the bathroom. 

Ella, Grace's youngest, was set to take over the restaurant.  Grace and Will had scraped enough together, with a little help from Steve and Danny, to buy out Komekona back before Ella was even born, and she had practically grown up in the kitchen, making gnocchi that put even Danny to shame by the time she was in middle school.  At the time of the buyout, Steve had tried to convince Grace to rename the restaurant  _Steve's_ , like he'd always wanted.  Although Steve and Danny had decided early on to let Komekona run the business, especially after Danny’s medical issues, and they’d be the silent partners, Steve was happy to have the business fully in the family now.  

Grace, however, had other ideas, and rebranded it  _Our Place,_  in honor of all the get-togethers Steve and Danny had hosted on their lanai, always with an invite of "Hey, why don't you guys come over to our place tonight?"  Instead of being disappointed, Steve actually wondered why he and Danny never thought to call it that in the first place. The two of them really had built a wonderful life surrounded by a beautiful, ever-expanding family over the years, most of whom were here now. 

Grace sat in the corner rocking the sleeping Louisa while Clara went downstairs and grabbed a bite to eat and checked in with her husband, who was stopping by after court, along with Kei.  Ella was finishing up prep for the dinner service, and would no doubt bring dinner for everyone when she came later.  Adam and Kono were expected soon, as well.   They’d finally moved back after their first child was born, deciding hotels were no place to raise a baby.  The governor asked Kono to head a council to support trafficking victims, which she gladly accepted, helping to pass four separate laws over the years for victim’s rights.  Adam had used his business influence to start a nonprofit to support the victims navigating their lives back to something approaching normal, and Joe currently headed up the legal defense wing of the organization. 

Will, who was now such a spitting image of his dad that sometimes it hurt to look at him, was chatting with Joe and Charlie by the window, no doubt giving the younger man dire warnings about the burdens of parenthood, just like his own father had done to Danny over the years.   

Losing Lou had been hard, even if it was almost ten years ago, followed by Jerry a few years later, but Steve knew that was nothing compared to what was to come. 

Steve may have promised Danny he could be the first to go, but at eight-five, he had hoped, maybe, his husband would cut him a little slack for just once in the damn marriage.   Truth be told, Steve was pretty sure he might climb in bed and die in Danny’s arms alongside him, whether Danny wanted him to or not.  Steve couldn’t imagine going back to their home where they’d raised kids and spoiled grandkids and lived this crazy, messy, wonderful life without Danny.  Renee had lasted two years without Lou; Steve didn’t think he’d make it two minutes. 

Steve let his eyes drift to the hospital bed, the one Danny had been lying in, completely unresponsive, slowly fading away, for the past week... only to see Danny sitting up in bed watching him and their family. 

Steve just stood staring in stunned silence. 

Danny, as usual, had something to say.  "Gotta give credit where credit is due; you can warp reality like nobody’s business, babe." 

Steve used the bed to steady himself as he moved to sit on the edge beside Danny.  "Jesus, Danno..." 

Danny reached out and brushed his knuckles along Steve's jaw; Steve wanted to cry at the touch.   

"Look at you.”  Danny shook his head in disbelief.  “You look great even at this age.  Knowing you, you probably gave yourself a six pack, too.  Like one of those freaky fitness octogenarians that look like someone photoshopped an old guys head on a bodybuilder."  Danny's eyes were clear, remarkably so considering the cataracts that had formed the past few years. 

"Danny, how--?" 

Danny shook his head to stop the question.  "Listen, you've created something pretty spectacular here, but you have to stop, let it go.  It's time to come home." 

That's all Steve wanted to do; go home, sit in their chairs on the beach, just like Danny envisioned all those years ago. 

"No, not that version of home." Danny corrected, even though Steve hadn't said a word out loud.  "Our real home. You need to come home to me, the real me." 

Steve furrowed his brow in confusion.  "I don't know what you're talking about." 

Steve had heard stories of people on the brink of death suddenly reviving, spending a few precious hours with their loved ones before going for good. That had to be what was happening now, only Danny had come back from the brink to share one of his hallucination with Steve. At this point, Steve would take it.  

“I’m not hallucinating, you are.  Have been the entire time.”  Danny grinned appreciatively.  “I’ll admit, that was pretty clever using me to make yourself feel vulnerable like that, but that ego of yours, that belief that you can fix anything, kept getting in the way.  I wasn’t sure it was ever going to let you break.” 

“The surgery,” Steve mumbled, remembering that feeling all those years ago when Danny wouldn’t wake up, when the doctors had no other options, and Steve couldn’t do anything but stand on the sidelines and watch it happen. 

Danny leaned in, admitted, “I thought you’d wake up then, after you fed them the false information, and maybe you did a little, but then you created this.”  He hitched his chin toward their family, all of whom continued chatting with one another, not even noticing Danny was awake.  

Still, Steve had the memories of every birth, every wedding, every heartbreak and success.  There was no way this wasn’t real. 

"You're lost, Steve," Danny said sympathetically.  "You're lost, and if you don't find your way back, you're going to die, and then we'll never have a chance at all this." Danny waved his arm to indicate their life together, everything that Steve loved. "I need you to remember, remember last night and what we talked about. What we did." 

"Danny, you haven't said anything in over a week." 

"Steven, I know it’s not your strong suit, but I need you to  _think_ _._ Remember last night; you were working on memorizing all the fake information you were going to feed the CIA mole.  Do you remember?”  

“Mole? Danny, that was over forty years ago.”  

With a shake of his head, Danny insisted, “Remember, you said the only thing that scared you was getting lost in the hallucinations." 

Steve had a flash of memory, of Danny sprawled across his chest saying, "If I ever get lost, this is where I want to find my way back.  This place, right now, with you."  

"That was you who said that," Steve corrected.   

"No," Danny said firmly, "it was you.  We were on the couch.  It was like two in the morning, I came downstairs, you took a break...” 

For a second, Steve could hear Danny’s heart beating rapidly under his ear, feel Danny’s chest rise and fall as he gulped air, asked himself for what had to be the thousandth time how he’d gotten so damn lucky to fall in love with his best friend, more importantly, have his best friend fall in love with him in return.  When he was with Danny like this, the rest of it, all the chaos and evil in the world, seemed a million miles away.  All that mattered was this ridiculous man who could make Steve feel a whirlwind of emotions...annoyed, amused, frustrated, scared, horny, wanted, loved, so goddamn loved...with nothing more than a curve of his lips, a brush of his fingertips, a glance from those baby blues. 

Steve pressed a kiss to the sweaty skin under his cheek, heard himself say, “If I get lost, this is where I want to find my way back. This place, right here, right now, with you.” 

Steve gave a shake of his head to clear it, looked back at the man with whom he’d spent the last half-century. "But... that was you, during the hurricane."  He sounded less sure of himself than before. 

“ _Think_ , Steve,” Danny urged. “I came down stairs, and you were at your dad's desk looking over the files.  I came up behind you..." 

...and Danny rubbed his fingers along the nape of Steve’s neck. "How's it going?" 

“It’s going.”  Steve knew he shouldn’t, but he couldn’t help but lean back into that touch, and Danny rubbed a little harder into tight muscles.  “I just need this information front and center in my memory so it comes out when they... you know.” 

Steve really didn’t want to talk about what they would do, not because it frightened him, but because it scared the hell out of Danny.  He could see the way the worry lines deepened even at the vague answer. 

“Actually, I don’t know,” Danny told him warily, like he wasn’t sure if he wanted to know or not.  “Not exactly.” 

Steve hesitated, then decided Danny should know the truth, because this crazy shit Steve did really wasn’t just about him anymore.  Leaning back in the chair, he looked up at Danny.  “Well, long term sensory deprivation has been known to lead to hallucinations and psychosis.  So, I’m thinking they probably take advantage of the mind being in a vulnerable state, and perform the interrogations then when you can’t resist.” 

“You always resist.” Danny gave a little snort. “You’re too much of a control freak to give up any information while being tortured. Believe me, I’ve seen the results of that stubbornness more times than I like.” 

With a shrug, Steve confessed, “If this is going to work, I’m going to have to let them break me.”  Not that he was looking forward to that eventuality and what it would take to do it, but it was the whole point of the undertaking. 

“Let them? Steve, you have never once let anything break you. In that crazy head of yours, you believe you are one hundred percent in control of every situation. Your stupid self-confidence lets you live under the delusion that there is nothing you can’t fix by sheer will power alone.” 

Steve, however, knew that wasn’t true. Danny could break him in a heartbeat.  He’d teetered on the edge of losing it every time Danny was seriously hurt, fallen over completely when he thought Danny had died. 

Looking away before he admitted that to Danny, Steve sighed.  “These guys are good. They’ve broken more than one dedicated agent.” 

Danny moved to lean back against the desk, ran the pad of his finger along Steve’s temple before tapping there.  “I don’t suppose you're smart enough to be scared by that fact.” 

“It’s just hallucinations,” Steve tried to dismiss, tried not to concern Danny any more than he already was. 

“When I was a rookie,” Danny started, “there was cop in another precinct that responded to a noise disturbance, and ended up in the middle of one of the largest drug busts in New Jersey history.   There was this huge shootout, bullets flying, and long story short, he ended up with a block of coke exploding in his face.  He almost died of a heart attack on the way to the hospital.  Ranting out of his mind for a solid day or two... seeing monsters attacking the city, convinced his doctor was a cyborg from the future... lots of crazy shit.  Then, once the drugs clear his system, he seems good, back to normal, so they send him home.   

The next day, his daughter shows up to bring him a sandwich from his favorite deli, walks in, and sees the guy holding a Louisville slugger, covered in blood, and his wife of nearly thirty years on the floor with her head bashed in, and him mumbling about her being a vampire.”  Danny shook his head in disbelief.  “Daughter runs out screaming to the neighbor’s to call the cops, and while the neighbor is on the phone, she hears a gunshot.  Apparently, the dad came out of it, realized what he had done, and ate his service revolver.”  Danny shrugged.  “All of that, and it was just a hallucination.”   

Steve took a deep breath, realizing the truth may be better than what Danny was imagining could happen to him.  “The only thing that scares me is getting lost in the hallucinations and having trouble finding my way back to you.”  He had no doubt Danny and the rest of his team would have his back, he just wasn’t sure what they’d find when they busted in. 

Danny crossed his arms, as if considering what Steve had just admitted, seemed to be doing some mental calculations of his own, before deciding he could put aside his deep-seated doubts and worries and offer a little self-confidence of his own.  “I’ll make you a deal; you keep breathing, and I’ll haul you back from wherever your fucked-up brain takes you.” 

Steve put his hand out.  “Deal.”  If anyone could, it would be Danny. 

Danny shook the offered hand, and Steve took advantage to use it to pull him into a kiss, and finally, into his lap when neither he nor Danny seemed inclined to break it.  Steve moved to the edge of the chair to grab Danny’s ass and tug him closer when Danny straddled his thighs, wrapped his arms around Steve, and deepened the kiss.  They kept that up for several minutes, Steve’s hands framing Danny’s face as the kissing becoming more desperate.  Both of them were obviously doing a for-shit job of trying to deny this could be last time they were together like this.  The arms of the chair, however, wouldn’t let Danny move in close enough as he tried to grind their dicks together, and Steve eventually stood, lifting Danny with him, and stepped forward enough to get Danny on the desk, sending the papers he’d been studying flying.  

Steve’s fingers were frantically working at the tie to Danny’s sleep pants when Danny grinned up at him.  “You really plan to fuck me on your homework? I mean, it might be easier just to have the bad guys read the imprint of all the false information off my bare ass, but I’m just saying...” 

Steve stripped off his polo shirt, then immediately grabbed a handful of Danny’s t-shirt and started for the living room.  “Couch. Now.”  

Danny tripped along behind him, trying to shimmy out of his pajamas, which wasn’t that easy with Steve’s fist still twisted in the fabric of Danny’s shirt.  Still, by the time they reached the couch, Steve looked down to see Danny hard and ready, and he peeled Danny’s shirt off so there wasn’t a stitch of clothing to block that spectacular view. 

“No fair,” Danny complained as Steve’s hands moved across Danny’s body, taking it all in while Steve was still half dressed. Danny was undoing Steve’s belt as he spoke, but Steve couldn’t keep himself from reaching down and starting to stroke Danny.  Danny leaned into it, leaned in with a groan that made Steve pump harder as Danny rubbed his forehead against Steve’s chest, even as he rolled his hips into Steve’s hand.  “Oh, fuck me, Steven, that’s just playing dirty.” 

“That’s the plan, Danno,” Steve practically purred as he nuzzled the top of Danny’s head. 

“Well, you can’t do that while you’re still wearing your jeans,” Danny insisted, pulling out of Steve’s grip to focus on the button and zipper of Steve’s pants, then sliding his own hand in behind the waistband of Steve’s underwear to return the favor and wrap those expressive hands around Steve in return. 

So maybe Danny had a point about the pants.  Steve stripped off the jeans and underwear, kicking them off as he licked his way inside Danny’s mouth.  Then they were on the couch, Danny’s legs around his waist pulling him in tight, thrusting up against him, and making it very hard to concentrate on finding the lube Danny insisted was under the sofa they currently occupied. 

After a few seconds of arguing...  

“Danny, I’m telling you it’s not--” 

“It was there last week.  Did you move it?” 

“Why would I move it?” 

“Well it didn’t just get up and walk away.... shit, do you think Charlie found it?  He was playing with his Legos on Saturday--” 

“Wait... I think...I can’t quiet reach...” 

“Do you want me to try?” 

“Yes, because your arms are so much longer than mine.” 

“You don’t have to be a smartass about it.” 

“Apparently, I do if you think you could...got it!” 

...Steve was finding it hard to concentrate for other reasons, what with Steve trying to take his time, waiting until Danny was squirming beneath him and demanding “What the fuck are you waiting for?  You figure since you’re going to get tortured tomorrow, I should tonight?” 

Steve actually laughed, because only they could have a conversation like this in the middle of sex, joking about torture, and have it be based in their reality.  “Christ, I love you, Danno.” 

“I love the hell out of you, too, babe,” Danny leaned up and kissed him warmly.  “But if you don’t get on with it, I swear to God, I will hurt you, physically, like you’ll wish you were in that damn tank already.” 

“That’s pretty much an average day with you,” Steve sniped, but he couldn’t keep the grin from his face as he kissed Danny again and did as the man asked...demanded. 

Steve wasn’t kidding about being afraid his mind might get lost, that he might come out of this ordeal a slate wiped clean, but if he could just cling to the way he felt right then, just remember the way Danny looked with his head thrown back against the cushions of the sofa, the little sounds of pleasure he made in the back of throat, the way he gasped out, “fuck...what you do to me, babe, it’s...fuck,” Steve thought he might have the breadcrumbs to find his way back. 

It’s what had him declaring a few minutes later in all honesty, “If I get lost, this is where I want to find my way back. This place, right here, right now, with you.” 

Steve pulled in a contented breath, only to feel water fill his lungs.  He sat up abruptly, trying to cough, but choked again, felt something tighten around his neck.  Looking around desperately, he saw he was back in the hospital room, only with Danny’s imaginary water rising alarmingly fast. 

“Steve,” Danny said calmly, too calmly for Danny, “you need to hold your breath.” 

“Danny?” Steve’s eyes widened to see the water was up to his chest now.   

“He’s holding you underwater,” Danny continued as the water pooled around Danny’s neck.  “I need you to fight.  Do you hear me?   _Fight, Steve._   I’m coming for you, but you need to fight until I get there.” 

“Dan--” 

 Danny vanished, the cable tightened on Steve’s neck, and water filled his mouth again, closed over his head, became his world. 

~H50~H50~H50~H50~H50~ 

Steve fought, fought until his muscles burned, and his chest ached, fought until the hold on him went slack, and the water turned red, then he kicked his way to the surface and sucked in air to feed his starved lungs. 

“Steve.” 

The voice was familiar, as was the touch of the hand that pulled him out of the tank.  He crawled a short distance and coughed water while also trying to breath in more air.  It didn’t seem to be working very well. 

“Steve.”  The hands were back as Steve turned and sat and looked around in a daze.  “Hey, hey, you okay?” 

Where was the hospital room?  He was in a hospital room, wasn’t he? 

“Look at me.”  Then fingers were on his jaw to get his attention.  “Look at me.  You all right?” 

Steve looked, couldn’t believe what he was seeing.  Thought for a second maybe it was Charlie, but the chin was different, the eyes a different shade of blue. 

“What’s my name, huh?  What’s my name?” 

“Danny.”  He tried to keep the question from his tone, because, Jesus, this Danny was so young, so strong and healthy and...fuck...how? 

“Good, good. Good.  How long have we known each other?” 

“Fifty years,” Steve said automatically, although that couldn’t be right. Danny wasn’t even fifty years old.  No, he was eighty-five.  No, he was...Christ, he was here and real and young, and not old and dying.   He was also looking at Steve with an annoyed expression Steve had seen a million times before, even if it had only been about eight years since they’d met, only a few months since they’d been together as a couple. 

“Fifty...that’s not funny,” Danny grumbled. 

“Feels like fifty years,” Steve hold him honestly, because the dreams were fading, but he couldn’t shake the feel of an entire life spent together. 

“That’s not funny.”  Steve could see the worry still clinging to Danny, the ghosts of all he’d imagined going wrong.  “I’m trying to be serious here.  Okay?” 

And Danny was trying to be serious, which was exactly why Steve needed to put him at ease. 

“It’s gonna take more than a little brain scrub to make me forget you, pal.  Okay?”  Although Steve was still struggling to figure out which Danny he should be remembering. 

Danny, thank God, just thought he was giving him shit. “Hmm.  What... what is that...what is that supposed to mean?” 

“Nothing,” Steve insisted.  Hoping he’d just drop it so he could sit here and get his bearings again. 

Danny, as he well knew, never dropped anything. 

“Nothing?  No, sarcasm is not nothing.  It’s actually Greek for ‘tearing flesh’.” 

“Not being sarcastic,” Steve promised. 

Danny, however, was coming off an anxiety high worrying about Steve that had been running way too long.  “You’re not being genuine.  You certainly didn’t say it with any sort of affection towards me.” 

Steve felt more of the memories fall away, the false ones, and more of the real ones slide into place.  Still, he couldn’t deny that both Dannys drove him nuts sometimes. 

“I’ve got an idea.” 

“Okay.” 

“Why don’t you throw me back in there until I actually do forget you.” 

“Why don’t I let you drown next time? How about that?”  

Steve could see some of Danny’s distress fade, and he finally sat beside Steve, close enough their arms could touch.  Steve stopped himself from leaning in even more.  He had no idea how long he’d been in that damn tank, but after being deprived of any sensory stimuli, he was afraid of how he’d react to closer contact, either cling to Danny in desperation for more, or move away because it was too much too soon. Either way, the last thing he wanted was to freak Danny out some more. 

“Hey,” Steve exhaled.  “Thank you.”  When Danny simply sat sulking over his perceived lack of affection, Steve tried again.  “Come on.” 

“You’re welcome,” he conceded...reluctantly.  “You’re welcome.”  Then he added, “You look ridiculous, by the way.” 

Looking down to see what he was wearing, Steve could only agree. “Yeah.”  He made a mental note to change out of this skinsuit as soon as possible.  His hope to do it before the rest of his team showed up was wasted.  In fact, he didn’t get to change out of it until after the medics had checked him over. 

Danny had disappeared on him, and Steve had a flash of familiar panic, only to remember that he didn’t have to worry about Danny having an episode anymore.   

Eventually, Danny strolled back in with Steve’s clothes in his hands.  “Look what I found.  Well, actually Tani found them, but I’m delivering them, and you get to change out of that Bond villain torture suit, so win-win.” 

“Thank God,” Steve said in genuine relief. 

Danny leaned in closer and murmured, “Although it does have a certain dominatrix feel to it.  Not that I’m necessarily into that sort of thing, especially since we’d have to come up with a safe word, and considering the whole chicken salad fiasco, you’d probably pick something like pastrami on rye.” 

“Aardvark,” Steve said automatically.  It had been a sort of safe word for them for years.   Hadn’t it? 

By Danny’s reaction, it hadn’t.  “Aardvark?” He looked around.  ”Did...did the medic check you for stroke?”  Not seeing a paramedic handy, Danny looked into his eyes, as if he could diagnosis it himself, if necessary. 

“No, it’s nothing.  Okay.  It’s just something from...” Our life, our marriage.  “The hallucinations in the tank.”  

“You hallucinated about aardvarks?” 

“No...” Steve sighed in frustration.  “I’ll tell you about it later, at home. Okay?  Can we please just get out of here and go home now?” 

Danny frowned at the request.  Steve was usually the last to want to leave a crime scene.  “Are you sure you’re alright?” 

“It’s too...it's alot,” Steve admitted.  “The people, the noise, the camera flashes.... after the whole floating in nothing thing, it’s..it’s a lot.” 

“Sure thing, babe,” Danny told him.  “Let’s get you out of the Bondage-R-Us uniform and back into your everyday walking around clothes.”  Danny waved him toward the back of the lab area where he must have found some place for Steve to change. Falling in beside him, Danny noted, “So you said they drugged you, then you woke up in this get up?” 

“That‘s right,” Steve agreed as Danny waved a hand up and down his body. 

“How did they even get you into it?  It’s literally skin tight.”   

“Danny...” Steve sighed. 

“Seriously, did they rub you down with Vaseline?  What?”  

“Danny,” Steve said more sternly. 

Danny held up his hands to signal he didn’t pose a risk of anymore questions, although Steve was almost afraid to think about what he might find when he stripped out of this thing.  It wasn’t like he and Danny didn’t have sex in his hallucinations. 

Danny’s silence lasted all of five seconds.  “You must be going nuts; there’s not a pocket in sight.” 

“Ha, ha,” Steve drawled, “laugh it up.” 

And that’s exactly what Danny did when they got home, and Steve told him about the visions he’d had in the tank... or at least part of them, as much as he could before Danny was laughing so hard his eyes were watering. 

“ _Me_?  Give  _you_? Durable power of attorney?  Over  _everything?_ ” 

“You were incapacitated,” Steve justified. “You couldn’t make decisions on your own.” 

Danny leaned against the doorjamb to the bathroom and used his toothbrush to gesture at Steve while he wiped at his eyes.  “Babe, I could be in the middle of a ten-year coma and still make more rational decisions than you.” 

Steve rolled his eyes with a sigh, deciding the rest of it could wait until later.  He patted at the bed beside him.  “Can you just drop it and please come to bed?  Please?” 

Danny turned back into the bathroom and brushed his teeth, and Steve considered that a small victory.  Although, there was one more thing that he couldn’t let go for tonight. 

“Hey, Danny, do you remember when we first met?” 

Danny spit and leaned out with a worried frown.  “In the garage.  You okay?” 

“Yeah, fine,” Steve dismissed.  “I was just wondering; did you happen to stop for coffee that morning?” 

Danny was looking at him like he wasn’t convinced he was fine at all.  “Probably.  The crappy apartment I was living in at the time would blow a fuse if I had more than one thing plugged into an outlet.  Coffee maker didn’t work half the time, so I almost always stopped for coffee.” 

“So you weren’t running late that day?” Steve asked hopefully. 

“Babe, I was always running late those days.” 

“So you might have been there earlier and missed me entirely,” Steve concluded, feeling that same dread he had in the hallucination. 

“Maybe,” Danny said with a shrug, “but I would have probably seen you later that day.  I had plans to call you in for an interview.” 

“Really?” 

“Well, yeah, you were a material witness to a murder; of course I planned to interview you. One way or another, I was going to talk to you. What sort of detective do you think I am?”  That last was said around his toothbrush as he vanished back into the bathroom again. 

Steve couldn’t help but grin happily at the news. 

Danny’s head popped back out the door.  “Oh, hey, that reminds me, I have a deposition next Thursday.  Think you can pick up Charlie from school?” 

“Sure, just put it on the calendar.” Steve settled a little further back into the pillows. 

Danny leaned out the door.  “It is on the calendar, at my house.” 

“Put it on the one downstairs.”  Belatedly, Steve remembered he didn’t have one, that the master calendar had been something Danny had put up in the kitchen after they got married.  Steve forced himself not to try to twirl the nonexistent ring on his finger like he had a dozen times since he’d come home.  Before Danny could say anything, he amended, “Maybe I should get a calendar and put it downstairs.” 

“Good idea,” Danny agreed warily, then ducked back in for a final rinse and spit. 

Steve, however, had a better idea, one he’d been thinking about since he’d returned from his reserve training last week, and it was just reinforced by his hallucinations today.   “Or you could move your calendar over here.” 

“Why would I do that?” Danny asked from the bathroom.  “It would be  _here_ when I need it  _there_...” 

“You could move with it,” Steve clarified.  There was nothing but silence from the bathroom.  “Danny?” 

Danny stepped to the doorway of the bathroom, but he didn’t come out.  “Are you asking me to move in with you?  Because if you need a calendar that badly, I’ll buy you one myself.” 

“Yes, I’m asking you to move in, and no, it’s not because I want your calendar.” 

“That’s...”  Danny looked behind him, like the answer to all of this was somehow hiding behind the shower curtains.  “That’s a big step.” 

Steve could see the growing panic in Danny, had a moment of panic himself that Danny might bolt.  “Look, you don’t have to decide right now, but I want you to know that I want you to.  You and Grace and Charlie, I want you all to move in here with me so we can be...you know... be a family.” 

“You are family, Steve,” Danny assured.  “You should know that by now.” 

“Of course, I know that Danny, it’s just...” Steve sighed, trying to find the right words.  “Family doesn’t live in different houses, not the type of family I’m talking about.”  There was that flash of fear in Danny’s eyes again, like he was terrified he was going to say the wrong thing when he desperately wanted to say the right one.  Steve decided to put him out of his misery, at least for tonight.  “Besides, if I have to put a chip in your head, it would sure be easier if we were cohabitating.” 

“No one is putting a chip in anyone’s brain,” Danny said, taking the out Steve had offered with his smartass grin, and finally coming out of the bathroom.  “A brain chip?  Do they really do that?” 

“I don’t know; I’m not a doctor.”  Thinking back on it, there were a lot of things that didn’t make sense.  “It was a dream.  Okay?  Dreams are weird like that.  It was a dream brought on by that damn tank, and you’re being an ass.” 

“How am I being an ass?” Danny demanded in outrage.  “You were the one who came up with a dozen different ways to torture me in your hallucinations.  If anyone is an ass, it’s you.  

“Because I spent seven hours being deprived of sensory stimulation and now you...you’re depriving me more.”  And if Steve sounded sulky, well, so be it. 

“I’m depriving you?” 

Steve gave a definitive nod of his head.  “I’m feeling very deprived.” 

Danny’s eyebrows rose, and he glanced back toward the bathroom. “Already? After the whole shower time?” 

“Seven hours, Danny,” Steve reminded. 

“I thought you were feeling over stimulated after your dip in the tank.” Danny countered.  

Steve rolled over to tug on Danny’s hand as he stood by the bed.  “That didn’t apply to you.” 

“I’m kind of surprised you let me do what I just did to you.”  At least he crawled into bed. 

“You can do that to me any damn time you like,” Steve assured. “Even if  _I’m_ the one in the middle of a ten-year coma.” 

“Really?”   

Steve didn’t miss the smug grin as Danny opened his arms for Steve to gratefully scoot into.  “Hell, yes.  I’m pretty sure that might bring me out of it.” 

“Better?” Danny asked after he wrapped himself around Steve.  

Steve exhaled slowly, soaking in the feel of Danny, his skin still warm and hair still damp from the shower they’d just shared.  “I know you’re not going to like me saying this, but I could die a happy man just like this.” 

“I’ve kind of resigned myself to this fate.” Danny dropped a kiss on Steve’s head. 

“Seriously?” Steve asked in surprised.  “You don’t find the idea of me dying in your arms morbid?” 

“The thought of you  _dying_ is morbid,” Danny corrected.  “But if it has to happen, then this is where you should be...hopefully when we’re both closing in on one hundred, and with a toxic level of Viagra in our blood streams.” 

Steve laughed along with Danny this time.  “No Viagra needed.  You were a sexy son of a bitch even in your eighties.” 

“You saw us in our eighties?” Danny perked up. “Like I did on the beach with the chairs?” 

“Yeah,” Steve said, skipping the whole deathwatch in the hospital.  “Grace and Will were married and running the restaurant. And Charlie was a cop, along with our granddaughter, Clara, just like you imagined  plus we had four other grandkids, and a great granddaughter.” 

Danny’s fingers traced across Steve’s shoulder, outlining the tattoos there, like he had countless times before, only this time they stayed put.  “Sounds nice.” 

Steve pressed a kiss to Danny’s jaw.  “It left nice in the dust.” 

“Must have been hard to leave that behind,” Danny said softly. 

Steve kept to himself how damn hard it had been, concentrated on what he’d been thinking since he’d seen Danny for the first time in forty years, the first time in seven hours.  “Not if I get to do it all again, this time with the real you.” 

Danny tilted Steve’s chin up until he could plant a warm, slow kiss on his mouth.  

Steve could taste the memory of their future that was in the past in that kiss, and the potential of their future yet to come.  He could taste mint toothpaste still fresh on Danny’s lips this very minute. 

All of it was a dream come true. 

The End 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, yeah, this is a tag for Season 9 Episode 1 that I started the week after it aired, then real life hit and here we are months later.  I'd actually place this as taking place a month or so before How to Make a Singular Noun Possesive in the series.


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